Engagement Wishes: What to Write in an Engagement Card

engagement card

Courtesy of Etsy/carinapaperco

You heard it through the grapevine...or, more likely, you got a text message: Two of your favorite people are about to tie the knot and you couldn’t be happier! Now that you’ve received the big news, it’s time to send an engagement card in the mail. 

Sharing your engagement congratulations with the couple doesn’t have to be difficult. That's why we enlisted the help of etiquette experts Hovik Harutyunyan and Alexis Dent to help you along the way. Here’s what you need to know about writing the perfect engagement card. 

Meet the Expert

  • Hovik Harutyunyan is a Los Angeles-based certified wedding planner, etiquette specialist, and owner of Harutyunyan Events.
  • Alexis Dent is an author and founder of XO Juliet.

Engagement Card Etiquette

Ahead of delving into how to write the engagement card, let’s talk about etiquette. You don’t want to make an awkward faux pas when sharing your warm regards with the happy couple. Follow this expert advice to ensure your engagement card is on point.

Send the engagement card swiftly.

You don’t want to wait too long. “You want to send the card within one to two months of hearing the news while the couple is still freshly basking in the celebration,” Harutyunyan tells Brides.  

Ensure you pick a quality card.

An engagement is a huge deal and so it deserves a splurge. “Handwriting your card will make your card extra special,” says Harutyunyan. “You also want to invest in a good quality paper card brand like Papyrus or Crane to mark such a special occasion.” 

Don’t use the couple’s married titles.

"Traditionally you would still address grooms-to-be as ‘Mr.’ and brides-to-be as ‘Ms.’ as they are not officially married yet,” explains Harutyunyan. “For a fun, modern take you can address the envelope: ‘To the Future Mr & Mrs./Mr. & Mr./Mrs. & Mrs’. For gender-inclusivity, you can address it as ‘To the Happily Engaged Couple’; ‘To My Favorite Love Birds/Soulmates/Life Partners/Couple’; ‘The Newlyweds-to-Be’; or ‘To the Future Mx. & Mx.’”

Simply address the card to one of them.

“If the couple doesn't live together or you really don't know the person's partner well, it's okay to address solely the person you know best when writing your card,” says Dent. “Keep in mind that this is poor etiquette when it comes time to send them a card congratulating them on their marriage. Wedding cards should be addressed to both partners.”

Avoid making awkward assumptions.

Of course, one of the worst mistakes you can make is jumping to conclusions. “Don't assume you're invited to the wedding,” says Harutyunyan. “In the time of COVID-19, when wedding planning is extra stressful and guest counts are highly restrictive, you don't want to make any sort of assumption about their wedding plans or guest list. This can apply unnecessary pressure onto the couple.”

Engagement Card Writing Tips

Ready to put pen to paper and get writing? Now that you’re clued up on the proper etiquette, it’s time to think about how to write a memorable card. However you choose to share your engagement congratulations, be sure to follow these handy tips. 

Add a personal touch.

Ambiguity is not becoming. “It's nice to have a personal touch,” says Dent. “If you're just going to say ’Congrats!’ you might as well save yourself the postage and just send a text. Depending on how well you know the couple, towards the end of the card, you can offer to help them with the planning process or offer a quick tip about enjoying this fun stage of their relationship.”

Don’t be negative.

“I'd definitely warn about including anything that could seem even the slightest bit negative,” says Dent. “A snarky comment like, ‘I can't believe you two have actually made it this far!’ that's meant to be in jest may come across as hurtful. Keep your writing light, bright, and positive when writing an engagement card.”

Share your fondest memories.

“Recall your first memory of them together or when you first found out about them meeting or starting to date,” says Harutyunyan. “Share some of your favorite memories together, for example, if you have vacationed together, hosted holiday parties, or been through an unforgettable experience with each other.”

Include some genuine humor.

Want to tickle their funny bone? Proceed with caution. “If you're known for your sense of humor and you have shared some great laughs with the couple, it's absolutely okay to be humorous in your card,” explains Dent. “However, humor is definitely not something to force and doesn't have a rightful place in the card if it's not a genuine way you connect with the couple.”

Don’t overthink it.

Of course, the card you write will depend on the type of relationship you have with the couple. Rather than spending ages drafting up messages, keep things simple and genuine. “You could even mention something about them that makes them the perfect fit for one another. Don't overthink it; simply write a celebratory card that reads like one you'd like to receive,” says Dent.

Engagement Card Examples

Let’s face it, finding the right words can be tough. So, perhaps you need a sprinkle of inspiration to get those creative juices flowing. If you can’t wait to get started, take a look at some of our favorite engagement card examples below.

Simple 

Dear [names], 
Congratulations on your engagement! Wishing you the warmest regards as you move into this next chapter of your lives. 
Love, 
[name]

Personal 

Dear [names], 
Congratulations on your engagement! I am so pleased that my best friend found her perfect soul mate. Wishing you the most blissful marriage! 
Love, 
[name]

Family 

Dear [names], 
Congratulations on your engagement! I am so pleased for you little bro…and welcome to the family, Emily! We’re so glad you’re here.
Love, 
[name]

Quirky  

Dear [names], 
Congrats on your big news! Glad that you two are finally putting a ring on it. Let’s make this thing official, shall we? 
Love, 
[name]

Reminiscent 

Dear [names],
Congrats on your engagement! Who’d have known that a chance meeting in a Spanish restaurant would turn into the romance of the century? You two give me hope for love! 
Love, 
[name]

Pop Culture 

Dear [names],
Congrats! When I say that I have never met a more perfect couple, I mean it. You two are the John Legend and Chrissy Teigan of our friendship group. Love ya! 
Love, 
[name]

Cute

Dear [names],
Congrats! You two are absolutely made for each other. I’m so glad you think so too. Wishing you all the best when you tie the knot. 
Love, 
[name]

Heartfelt 

Dear [names],
Congrats! Words cannot describe how truly happy I am for both of you. Excited to watch you take the next steps in your epic romance. 
Love, 
[name]

Romantic 

Dear [names],
Congratulations on your engagement! May your wedding bring you all of the joy you deserve. So happy for you two lovebirds.
Love, 
[name]

Funny 

Dear [names],
Congrats on your big news! Remember: Never laugh at your partner’s choices—you are one of them now. 
Love, 
[name]

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