What to Expect at a Japanese Wedding

Today, most Japanese weddings are not as deeply rooted in ritual and tradition as one may assume. While the unique Japanese culture, lore, and etiquette are still alive and well, the entire day is quite Westernized. Thus, you could say that the modern Japanese wedding boasts a new style that mixes the Japanese spirit of harmony with Western culture in the right way.

"In Japan, there are ancient rituals and traditions, but recently with Westernization, the rituals have been simplified," explains Japan-based wedding dress coordinator Yuzuki Sagi. "Most brides prefer to wear bridal gowns and choose a Christian ceremony [over] a Shinto one."

Not just the Japanese wedding ceremony has seen changes in recent times either, but the reception as well. Wedding concierge Mami Arabori notes, "Japanese weddings used to be focused on the bride and groom. But, enjoying the food and conversation with guests and taking pictures together is more important to the couple nowadays. It is a true reflection of the Japanese spirit of hospitality, omotenashi, and it can be called a Japanese modern tradition."

Wondering what else you need to know before attending a Japanese wedding? Here are answers to a few common questions:

• What should I wear? Female guests wear one-piece dresses or kimonos since two-piece sets are considered bad luck in Japanese culture. Animal leathers and fur are also not allowed at Japanese weddings because they remind people of "life and death," as well as sleeveless garments. However, today, if the couple asks guests to come dressed in white or a particular color, guests should follow the request.
• Should I bring a gift? In Japan, it is customary to give money as a gift, called goshugi. It is common to use new bills for goshugi and odd number amounts are preferred, with the exception of lucky number eight. Typically, guests gift ¥30,000 (about $300) for friends; ¥30,000 to ¥50,000 (about $500) for bosses and teachers; and ¥50,000 to ¥100,000 (about $1,000) for relatives.
• How should I give goshugi? Goshugi should be wrapped in a special envelope and brought in a special cloth called fukusa. If you don't have fukusa, wrap the gift in a silk scarf. Once you arrive at the wedding, give the goshugi to the receptionist, who is usually a close friend or relative of the couple, and offer congratulations. Then, write your name and address in the guest book.
• If I prefer to give a gift, what should I avoid giving? Since goshugi is the basic etiquette in Japan, it is better to give a goshugi instead of a gift. If you would like to give a gift, you should tell the couple in advance and ask what particular items they would prefer.
• How long is a Japanese wedding? Japanese weddings are fairly short. A 20 to 45-minute ceremony is followed by a two to two-and-a-half-hour reception.

Read on for the most common and current traditions you’ll see at a Japanese wedding.