Couples often exchange handwritten notes on the morning of their weddings. How sweet! If you want to partake in this adorable tradition but are having trouble putting pen to paper, we've got great tips on how to write a love letter to your spouse on your wedding day that comes straight from the heart.
"It's important to write out our feelings because very often we take it for granted that our partners know how we feel, when they may not," explains marriage therapist Dr. Jane Greer. "It's heartening to receive words of love in print because then you have the opportunity to read it over and over again. It's a way to constantly feel the love whenever you need it. This is particularly important on your wedding day because it's the day where you declare your love, and part of that is putting your love in writing as a way to have it endure for all time. It keeps the uniqueness and specialness of your wedding alive."
Meet the Expert
Dr. Jane Greer is a marriage and family therapist, sex expert, author, radio host, and creator of the popular celebrity sex & relationship commentary, “SHRINK WRAP," according to her website.
Here's what to keep in mind as you write your letter to your spouse on the wedding day.
1. Speak From Your Heart and Include Little Details
"The best thing is to be open, honest, and speak from your heart," Greer advises. "Tell your partner how much you love them and especially why you love them, and what makes them so special, exceptional, and important to you."
2. Make a List of Everything You Want to Include
If you write down everything you want to include at the start, you won't accidentally leave anything out. "Some things a bride may want to say to her SO in her letter are how thrilled she is to be starting their life together, how happy she is to have found a soulmate with whom to share her life journey, and how delighted she is that he or she made her their choice and found in her the love and commitment that she shares with him or her," Greer says.
Jot down a quick list of things you want to include and keep that list on hand as you write.
3. Take Notes Whenever You Think of Something You Want to Say
Inspiration can strike at any time, whether you're in the grocery store, or getting a manicure, or jogging on a treadmill. If something pops into your head that you just have to say to your honey, make a note in your phone (or hand write it the good old-fashioned way) so you won't forget when you actually set about the task of writing out the whole wedding letter to your other half.
4. Set Aside a Quiet Time to Complete the Letter
When you write the letter is up to you, but whenever you do it, make sure to give yourself the time and space to give it your full attention. "The night before or the morning of could both work, depending on the bride," Greer says. "Sometimes, it can be smart to do it ahead of time so it doesn't get lost in the hustle and bustle of the day."
Real Examples of Letters to the Groom
Want to see what a few real brides wrote to their husbands-to-be? Here are actual letters from five brides who share the loving words they had for their fiancés on the big day.
Bailey and Eric from Ojai, California
The day that seemed like a fantasy existing in some far-off place has finally arrived and...we’re doing this! We’re getting married. I’ve been taking really slow and long breaths all morning trying to slow down the day. I’ve been trying to notice every detail in what the air smells and feels like, what music is playing, what people are saying, what the ocean feels like. I want every detail of today to be ingrained in my spirit.
You’re surfing right now, and I’m sitting with our family on the sand bordering a tide pool on Playa Escondida. The girls and I were just swimming and we were caught in a rip. They were nervous, and I was tired as we struggled to figure out which way to swim to get out, but I knew nothing bad would happen. The wedding Gods are on our side today. Right?!
Our little dude is digging in the sand next to me as I write this, singing a song about ice cream robots and offering me the occasional sand pie. He’s happy.
I was worried that this day would feel like any other, like it might let me down because I had built it up so much in my mind. But, it seems to be crafting itself to perfectly suit our needs—happy people, big waves, a little shower right when it was getting too hot, and you and I nearing the moment where we’ll solidify our commitment with well thought out words and a ceremony blessed by all the people who love us. Oh, and tequila! This day has also given us tequila.
I feel excitement in my stomach and serenity in my heart as 4 p.m. tiptoes closer. I’m ready to keep loving you, today, and for all the others.
Your Almost Wife (Bailey)
Josie and Jessy from Knoxville, Tennessee
My Sweet Jessy,
First off I want you to know that I love you so much. I have imagined this day since I was a little girl and it is finally here. The big day, I should be nervous and anxious but I find myself calm and at peace. I think it's because I know that no matter what happens today, by the end of it we will be married.
I remember as a little girl, dad saying to marry a man that loves me and protects me. I am so thankful that you go above and beyond this. I love how you never let me open a car door, or that you cook for me, but most importantly I love that you put God before me, that you make sure He is number one in our lives.
I love you, you are my soulmate, and I will love you even through football season, forever a coach’s wife. I am so excited for this adventure that we begin today and to call you my husband.
See you at the altar,
Josie (your pumpkin)
Erin and Shawn from Carmel, California
Caring for you is something I look forward to. For the rest of my life, being your wife. To have and to hold, until we get old—that's our love story I want told. So it's with a loving heart, I give you this gift to start, these "In Case You Get Cold Feet" socks are for you. I even ordered them in your favorite NFL team hue. I can't wait to be your wife and vow 'I do' to you.
I love you!
Casey and Justin from Boston, Massachusetts
Right now you're standing on the other side of the door from me, inches and minutes from joining as husband and wife. I can't help but think over everything, the good and bad, that has gotten us to this exact moment (...) The first few months in our apartment when we both had to pretend we weren't terrified to be adults, and being responsible for keeping something alive: Pax. Then moving into the condo and having something actually worth cleaning, and realizing the cat we thought was hard to keep alive was a cake walk compared to Zuri. We've been on trips, gotten in car accidents, had nights we couldn't get enough of each other and nights we couldn't get far enough away from one another. We've had so many adventures together and today is our biggest one yet. I can't wait to see what other adventures life has in store for us. I hope your gifts help get us there. I love you more and more every day, so much sometimes I think my heart will explode. And to think...it all started with a beer.
Matt and Emily from Los Angeles, California
You are my love, my light, and my future. I can't imagine marrying anyone other than you, and as we join together on this day I feel 100% confident in this match. There's no one else on earth I'd rather share my life with, and I'm so excited to be your wife. I have no doubts. I've known since the first time you kissed me that you were going to be mine forever. You are my one true love.
I didn't believe in soulmates until I met you, but then you came along and changed everything. I thought life was good before you came along, but since we've been together I've been happier than I even thought was possible. You make me content. You even cured my previously insatiable need to wander and travel. As I roamed from country to country, I was looking for a home. I found it in you.
I promise to love you every day for the rest of my life, even when it gets hard. But knowing us, it's going to be way more good times than bad and way more smiles than tears. I am so thankful for you. You aren't just the man of my dreams—you're the man beyond my wildest dreams.
Thank you for asking me to be your wife.