Getting a guy to pop the question is never easy, and the truth is that guys approach marriage like most sane individuals approach a bloodthirsty tiger. In other words, most men aren’t exactly keen to marry and any moves they make towards it is very calculated.
If they’re going to marry, they’re going to need some indicators from you. Here’s what he’ll need before he considers marrying you:
1. He needs a fire under his ass.
I’m sorry to say, but I’ve learned this to be true. Men will simply not marry a woman unless there is an outside push that tells him he will lose something major if he doesn’t commit.
The easiest way to make sure you either get hitched or free yourself up for someone who will pop the question is to basically tell him you expect marriage after a certain amount of time together. Otherwise, he’s basically having his cake and eating it, too.
2. He needs to be given every reason to trust you.
One of my guy friends told me that the biggest worry men have with their future wives is that they’re getting tricked into marriage for the wrong reasons. Most men don’t want to marry a woman who has cheated on them, made them suspicious, or seems too wrong for them.
3. He needs you to show him you won’t put up with his sh*t.
I’ve learned that men don’t like doormat girls, even if they are nicer to them than their wives. If you aren’t willing to walk away or stand up for yourself, you won’t get married to him — I guarantee it.
4. He needs you to give him and his parents a good impression.
Most guys will sleep with wild child types, but will only marry the type of girl they feel comfy bringing home to mom. If you can’t pull it together enough to make him feel comfortable being the mother of his children, he’s probably not going to pop the question.
5. He needs to be given a good lifestyle reason to marry.
Does he want kids? Does he want to move in together? Tell him it won’t happen until there’s a ring on your finger, and the chances of him proposing will increase dramatically.
6. He needs you to give him the idea that you won’t try to change him.
Guys are also very scared of losing themselves after marriage. Do not, under any circumstances, give him the idea that popping a ring on your finger will lead to you having a "hubby makeover" period in your life. He will run away.
7. He needs you to give him the feeling that you add, rather than subtract, from his life.
No one wants to be with a person who is a constant drain on them. If you make him feel like he’s shouldering you as a burden, he won’t want to marry you. Be self-sufficient, and you’ll turn into wife material.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.