7 Women Share Times They Preferred Masturbation Over Partnered Sex

May is masturbation month and we are here for the self-love

Updated 05/30/19

Lyuba Burakova / Stocksy United

Happy Masturbation Month! May is a wonderful time of year to celebrate the coming of spring, warm weather, and of course, self-love. Masturbation is a delightful (and free!) part of life that continues from the time we discover it as pre-teens—with the mystical shower head, likely—into our relationships, and throughout life with marriage and kids.

That’s right:Masturbation doesn’t have to stop just because you’re in a relationship! It is its own sex act, completely separate from intercourse, hand sex, oral sex, etc. Sometimes we masturbate with our partners, sometimes we do it alone. Sometimes we masturbate because we need a quick release, other times we masturbate to make up for a difference in libido. Other times we masturbate because we need some alone time with our vibrators without the pressure of pleasing another person.

Whatever your reason, it’s perfectly normal. To illustrate that point, here are seven real women on times they’ve preferred masturbation over partnered sex. We've all been there.

[I’ve] been with my husband for sight years now. Sometimes we BOTH prefer masturbation to sex. Not that we aren’t sexually attracted anymore, 'cause trust me, we are. But, sometimes, I’m honestly too tired to have full blown sex. Sometimes, I just want to do it myself.
-Taylor, 26

I prefer bedtime sex, but he says that's when he's too tired, and he prefers morning sex. Although my mornings are busy and rushed, I try to oblige him, but I usually feel groggy, unattractive and with "morning breath."

Most of the time, due to these issues, I have problems with reaching orgasm. Sometimes, I can indeed climax, with a little help. But most of the time, our sessions are fast and finished too quickly before I can even get worked up for that goal. Because I'm usually frustrated, and/or I'm tired of the rejection and drama of it. I just prefer to masturbate and stopped initiating altogether.
-Rachel*, 47

Micropenis. I had to do reverse cowgirl, and as a pillow queen I was mad, mad!
-Kella, 29

[In] spring 2018, I was with someone who was extremely lazy in bed, and I was close to tears because I just wanted sex (and an orgasm!!!) and he had applied one of those “shock” gels to my clitoris (you know what I’m talking about) and that thing was fire. So, he decided to give up fairly soon into getting started and decided we would try again later.

But it had already been applied and my clitoris was burning, and I just needed relief, so I snuck off to the bathroom and relieved myself (and my spirit). I came back and he knew what had happened. He was upset that I had “stolen my orgasm from him” and he literally was still angry hours later.

We broke up the next day and my sex life has dramatically improved.
-Galilee, 23

I like masturbating, but I like when my partner and I do it together. Sometimes we’re both just too damn tired to get it together for sex. I’m still very into to him and find him very sexy, but masturbation is just easier. It’s nice when we’re together. We talk dirty to each other and watch each other. It is actually super hot. It’s better when we make out a lot, and he touches my breasts and thighs. It doesn’t feel like I’m missing anything.


-Sara, 29

[I prefer masturbating] a whole lot lately.
-Rebecca, 36

My second marriage; I was 28-34 at the time. He wouldn’t do oral. I met him before I had a list of deal breakers made. My extra alone time did help me realize I didn’t need (want) him though.
-Ama, 44

See more: 9 Women on Their Masturbation Fantasies

[Gigi Engle] (http://missgigiengle.com/) is a certified sex coach, sexologist, educator, and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on [Instagram] (https://www.instagram.com/gigiengle/?hl=en) and [Twitter] (http://www.twitter.com/gigiengle) at @GigiEngle.

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