8 Women on How Their Partner Made Them A Better Person

Change is good, people!

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Photo by Yessica Cruz

Whether or not you believe that opposites attract or you believe that you’re destined to find someone who is just like you, the best partner is the one who helps you become the best version of yourself. If you’re going to spend your life with someone, they might as well be the kind of person that helps you open your eyes, kick your bad habits, and maybe even get you standing up for a cause you never would have fought for before.

Just like these eight women who found partners that helped transform them into the people they are today.

My Husband Made Me a Feminist

“My husband is the only male feminist I know. He was a big feminist before we met because his mom was a leader in a local feminist group. Growing up, he’d go to meetings with her and help with events. Before I met him, I didn’t know much about feminism, which sounds crazy because I’m a woman. But now I’m so involved and have a better understanding of what feminism actually is.” —Victoria W., 30

I Stopped Being a Shopaholic

“I met my husband when I had over $50,000 in credit card debt. I remember when I finally admitted that to him on like date five. He almost spit his drink out on the table. I also told him that I have a big shopping problem. He works in finance so I knew that he could help dig me out of his hole. I didn’t let him look at my finances until we were dating for about six months. At that point, he sat down and did an entire evaluation of my debt and my shopping problem and helped me change. I managed to pay off my debt in two years and I also started going to a therapy to help me with my shopaholic problems.” —Ada P., 34

I Became More Open to Kids

“I’m not a kids person and I never wanted to have them. It just wasn’t something on my bucket list at all. But I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two years and we have recently started talking about maybe having kids and I’m growing closer to giving into the idea because I know it means a lot to her and because she’s shown me that we can be great parents together. We also have a ton of friends with kids and spending time babysitting them for our friends (which at first sounded horrible) has been a lot of fun and has shown me that having kids is special and an adventure that maybe we really could do too.” — Tammy Z., 32

I Got More Romantic Than I Ever Used to Be

“I leave my husband love notes in his lunch bag, I say mushy things to him when he gets home from work, and I actually plan a really big surprise for him on Valentine’s Day. Are you thinking so what? What’s the big deal? Well, the big deal is that before we met, I would never do any of this stuff. I was such a non-romantic. I didn’t even believe in marriage. I came from a household of divorced parents. My husband and I dated seven years before I agreed to get married to him. During that time, we built trust and we communicated when times were tough. He was always so romantic so I think over the years that’s completely just rubbed off on me. I have to say that I like the way I am now!” —Barbara W., 38

I Stopped Being So Late

“My nickname is June the One That’s Never in Tune With Time. I am always so late. If the dinner starts at 7 pm, I’ll be there at 8 pm. I don’t do it on purpose, it’s just I’m terrible at time management. My girlfriend completely made me change this. She started to lie about the time we needed to be somewhere, so at first, I was tricked into showing up on time. But after dating her for four years, I’ve gotten so much better. I sometimes only show up 10 minutes late, which is really a big deal.” —Sam P., 31

I Became Way Less Selfish

“I was single for almost five years before dating my boyfriend. I became so selfish. I did everything I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. There was no reason to care about anyone else. Then things got serious with the guy and we moved in together. I started doing things for him and putting him before myself sometimes. I became way less selfish. I once spent an entire weekend in the hospital with him when he was sick. This was big because before him if a friend needed me to do that, I acted miserable because it meant I was missing out on doing things I wanted (like going to the gym or cooking). But now I do things for him, no questions asked.” —Cindy E., 28

I Started Becoming an Activist

“My husband works in the entertainment industry and a lot of his friends are huge activists for women’s rights and the #MeToo movement. We’ve spent about 12 weekends this year going to protests or doing walk-outs. He’s made me an activist. It feels great to fight for something. I’ve never done that before.” —Laurel S., 38

I Took On a More Positive Outlook at Life

“I’ve always been negative. I always think everything is going to explode or get ruined. My fiancé is the complete opposite. When I met him, I was like oh, wow, this person is way too positive for me. But I’ve found over the years that he balances me out. He helps me see the world in a way more positive way. I walk into situations now without the dread of how they are going to be ruined or how I’m going to fail. That’s a big thing for me.” —Debra J., 32

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