She said yes to the dress … And no to the wrong guy. Now, this Australian divorcée-to-be is trying to rid her closet of one major reminder of her failed marriage—her wedding dress. Lauryn of Newcastle, NSW, recently took to Facebook to share a post selling her bridal gown. And according the legit hilarious ad, although she may be losing that Mrs. prefix, the girl is definitely holding on to that on-point sense of humor!
"Please help remove this beautiful Maggie Sottero dress from my life," Lauryn writes on a local buy-swap-sell page. "It looks stunning on, enough to distract you from the fact you are entering into a marriage with a compulsive liar." YAASSS, QUEEN.
In case you're considering purchasing the Maggie Sottero frock (because, duh, discounted designer dress), Lauryn is sure to point out that the gown is still in "excellent condition, unlike my marriage," and that it even "comes with a certificate of authenticity (unlike the wedding vows)." OMG. So savage.
"Bad luck has been removed through expensive dry cleaning," adds Lauryn. "I know this for sure, because when I got it dry cleaned post-separation I became happier, more confident, and discovered what it feels like to be genuinely loved and treated well in a relationship."
Interested? Lauryn is asked for $350 for her wedding dress (after paying the more than $3,000 retail price). "Not getting married? That's okay!" she writes. "This dress can be worn on many different occasions." We're listening…
"Wear it and run after random men in the street, yelling 'I LOVE YOU! COME BACK!' " Lauryn suggests. "Wear it to the pub and people will buy you celebration drinks. Even better, wear it to the pub, fake cry, and see the sympathy drinks pour in from every guy there who would love to be your rebound. The dress will have itself paid off in booze within one night!"
Since writing the ad, the post has gone viral and the mother-of-one has also created a GoFundMe to help pay for her divorce. "What's the worst that can happen?!" Lauryn writes, explaining her reasoning behind creating the crowd-sourcing page. "Even if I only get $1, it will still be less of a failure than my marriage."
According to GoFundMe, Lauryn is seeking $420 to cover the costs of filing her divorce papers. "In the rare chance I go over it," she says, "the money will be spent on booze to celebrate and possibly some smoking hot lingerie from Honey Birdette."
Considering that at press time, the page has now reached $530, looks like girlfriend is getting herself some well-deserved smoking hot lingerie!