Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge.
Brides-to-be, when it comes to wedding preparations, we grooms-to-be can make things awkward.
Try to get us involved, and we may drag our feet and act like it's a huge hassle. Take care of everything yourself, and we may resent you. We may start making snide remarks under our breath: "Well, not that I have any say in the matter," or "What Bridezilla wants, Bridezilla gets."
Yeah, it's really annoying and childish. But you probably knew this about us already.
The wedding registry is one area where you can get us to participate with minimal friction.
Wedding registry shopping can be fun, especially if you avoid doing it online and go to an actual store, where they may give you a price scanner to use. You get to walk around, scanning the barcodes of any expensive houseware or appliance that strikes your fancy. For us, it combines guiltless materialism with the childlike thrill of shooting at things with a laser gun.
A Wise Investment
These days, everyone is an expert on something, and that expertise may benefit you as we start building our home together.
Maybe your man is a foodie, and has informed opinions about the virtues of Calphalon vs. All-Clad. Maybe he's a home repair guru, and knows which tool set to ask for, potentially saving you thousands of dollars in future contractor bills. Think of encouraging our participation as an investment. You have no idea what kind of dividends it will eventually pay.
You Need Help
Keep this in mind: While picking your registry is fun, it's also stressful.
You'll need our help. Every heard of "the tyranny of choice?" It's the idea that humans don't actually want limitless options. Too much opportunity makes us anxious and stressed out. Think of how exhausting it is to choose a movie on Netflix. You spend an hour deciding on the perfect film, then fall asleep a few minutes after it begins. Well, your registry is a Netflix of things. Spend a day deciding which cappuccino maker to ask for, or a week pondering which shade of bath towel best captures your unique chemistry as a couple, and you will end up frazzled and angry. Never mind that you are simultaneously trying to buy the perfect wedding dress, pick the best flowers and solve the byzantine puzzle of the seating chart for our reception. You've already got enough to do: let us shoulder a bit of the work.
An Educational Opportunity
Finally, working together on the registry shopping will be an eye-opening experience for you.
Money can be one of the most fraught aspects of a marriage, and you'll want to know how your future partner handles it. Is he stingy? Does he spend like a sailor? The wedding registry gives you the chance to see him in action in a consequence-free environment. It's like a neutral test run of your financial life together. The data you gather is — literally — priceless. You'd be crazy to pass that up.