Being sexually confident is not praised nearly enough—it's high time we had a chat about that, my fellow gorgeous ladies. It’s no secret that a sexually confident woman has been systematically looked down upon in our society, and it's still happening today. Women are taught to be soft, quiet and to never ask too much of our partners.
Don’t ask for oral sex! You’ll seem pushy. Accept it as a gift if it’s offered and be grateful! Just lie back and it’ll be over soon!
Yet we’re expected to offer up our bodies, sans clitoral stimulation of any kind, whenever our partners ask. Puke.
These sentiments are handed down to women whether they know it's happening or not; sometimes subliminally through the media, sometimes directly from people around us. If you enjoy sex, ask for what you want, and demand orgasms, you’re often seen as pushy, slutty, and overbearing.
This is completely ridiculous. Being a sexually confident woman not only makes you a better, stronger person—it makes you a better partner. Let me explain. Here is an ode to that fabulous boss of a woman. May we all be like her.
You ask for what you want
When you’re a sexually confident woman, you ask for what you want. When you ask for the things you need to be sexually satisfied, you are being straight with your partner. This will, in turn, help him or her be a stronger person. You’re not pandering to their ego. You’re not walking on eggshells.
You recognize that your partnership is egalitarian. It is one that is full of comprise and honest communication. You can’t be a good partner if you lie about the most important and intimate things. Being able to effectively communication in a relationship is a huge deal. If you can’t even tell your partner what you like in bed, how are you going to manage to discuss the really hard stuff in the future?
Being sexually confident is about so much more than getting off. It’s about being able to articulate your wants, feelings and needs to someone who loves and cares about you.
You expect an orgasm and recognize this as your right
A woman with sexual confidence is a fierce thing to behold. You don’t feel ashamed for expecting to be satisfied. It is your right to feel good during sex. It is your right to experience pleasure.
You understand your sexual code of ethics. For you it is clearly defined. When you are a person with strong morals, you’re a person who can handle anything that comes at you in a relationship. You’re a person who can stick it out until the end. You know what you want and you’re not going to keep your mouth shut.
You know what a clitoris is, which helps your partner know how to touch you
One in three women cannot have an orgasm from penetration alone. You understand how your body works. You know you need your clitoris stimulated either orally or manually to get there. By knowing your body and feeling confident in your body, your partner will learn what he or she needs to do to make you orgasm.
If they don’t have respect for you for speaking your mind and not being afraid to show them what you need, that’s their problem. If you teach them how to touch you, you’ll make them a better lover as well. No one wants their partner to be miserable during sex. That sucks for everyone.
You don’t fake orgasms
Faking orgasms is the kiss of death for a woman. If you start faking orgasms, you are doing both yourself and your partner a great disservice. Why? Because if you act like something is working when it isn’t working, your partner is going to keep doing that thing. They aren’t a mind-reader, after all.
In the end, you are responsible for your own orgasm. A sexually confident woman recognizes this and sees it as a crucial component to satisfaction. When something isn’t doing it for you, you speak up. This way you can correct the problem and move on to much better sex.
We all deserve to be sexually confident. We are powerful, kickass women. You’re killing it babe.