Practice makes perfect, and all that ceremony practicing can make a bride hungry. Enter the rehearsal dinner, an often exclusive pre-wedding celebration traditionally hosted by the groom’s parents. It’s a great way to kick off the festivities before you head down the aisle, but who’s supposed to join you?
If you’re planning to keep your rehearsal dinner on the small side, start the list off with those who will be at the ceremony rehearsal: Your parents and siblings, the wedding party (and their dates), any readers or ushers, and your officiant. Anywhere from 10 to 25 people, this group is the perfect size for an intimate dinner with your VIPs, and you can definitely leave it at that.
This might seem fairly obvious, but the immediate family of the soon-to-be newlyweds should always be invited to the rehearsal dinner. This means parents, siblings, and grandparents. Your wedding symbolizes not only the joining of you and your soon-to-be spouse in marriage but also your families merging. This dinner is the perfect opportunity for some quality family time before your wedding when, no matter how hard you try, you won't have nearly as much time to spend with them.
Close Extended Family
Here's where it gets a little ambiguous. By no means should you feel obligated to invite your aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. However, if your families are small and you only have perhaps two or three on each side whom you'd really love to join you, go for it. Often, couples will invite their godparents or closest extended family members to join them at this celebration before the celebration.
Traditionally, all bridal party members should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Essentially, it's a must. Plus-ones, however, is where it gets tricky. Some etiquette experts suggest that if the bridal party member is invited to your wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring the date to the dinner party on your wedding eve. Others argue that the "plus-one" option need only apply on your actual wedding date. If you have a flower girl or ring bearer, technically they should be invited, too—but this largely depends on their age and relationships.
If they are a child of a bridal party member, it would go a long way to invite them. If not, a non-invitation makes more sense.
For guests that are traveling for your big day, it's a nice token to extend a rehearsal dinner invitation. They're taking on the expense of time and money to celebrate you, so including them in your pre-wedding celebrations is often customary. However, each situation is unique. If you're having a destination wedding, for example, everyone is traveling, so if you're having an intimate rehearsal dinner, you clearly can't invite everyone. Unlike your bridal party and immediate family, this one's entirely up to you.
If you don’t invite all the out-of-towners to dinner, you may want to consider hosting a welcome party later in the evening. Plan for cocktails and desserts to have a little fun while still keeping the costs down. A rolling reception, where guests can come and go as they please, is a great way to welcome guests into town no matter when they arrive and make them feel comfortable heading to bed early if they’ve had a long day of travel.
Many couples choose officiants they have close relationships with. If this is the case, whether it's a religious leader you've grown close with through the years or your best friend—invite them to the rehearsal dinner with you. Typically, it will be immediately following your actual rehearsal, and it's a customary gesture that will surely be appreciated and welcomed.