Wedding Ceremony Script 101: How Much Control Do You Have Over What's Said?

Caroline + Ben Photography

Planning your wedding means paying attention to lots of little details — the flowers, the place cards, the menu, the playlist. The list goes on and on. But what about the wedding ceremony script? Aside from the order of your bridal party, how much control do you have over what gets said on your big day? It all depends on the type of wedding you're having.

A religious wedding is always a great ceremony option for brides and grooms, not matter how devout the couple might be, but if you're looking for a lot of leniency in the script, it may not be the way to go. Many religions have a specific order to the ceremony, and traditions or prayers that are followed at every wedding. However, there are still a few ways to tailor your religious wedding ceremony to you. First, schedule a few meetings with your officiant in the months leading up to the wedding. Allowing your officiant to get to know you and your fiancé on a personal level means that they'll be able to speak about the two of you more in the ceremony. You can also request specific prayers or psalms that are special to you. In fact, adding a reading from a friend or family is a great way to personalize your religious wedding script. Just check with your officiant to make sure there are no parameters you need to follow in your house of worship first.

A non-denominational wedding, depending on your religious beliefs and officiant, may be the way to go if you want maximum control over your wedding day. Interview officiants and ask if you can work together on the script. This way you ask for changes, and specify the ceremony's order and any traditions — religious, personal, or custom — you'd like to include. If your officiant is open to it, ask to review their script before the wedding. That way, you can make any changes to anything you don't like and any additions you want to see.

If you're getting married by a friend or family member, tread lightly. While a friend may be more open to your requests, they also might feel that the honor of marrying you means they can tailor the script to fit their perception of you two as a couple. If control is something you crave, discuss how much you want to be involved when you ask your friend or family member to do the honors. Knowing ahead of time how the dynamic will play out could save your friendship — and your wedding day.

See More: How to Plan and Create Your Own Wedding Ceremony

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