Everything You Need to Know About Flower Girls

Flower girls walking down the aisle.

Photo by Kadeem Johnson and Dar Es Salaam Riser

Flower girls are adorable additions to any wedding. Even if kids aren't your thing, it's hard to deny the cuteness that comes with a little tot all dolled up in tulle throwing petals down the aisle. Typically the youngest person in the wedding party, the flower girl precedes the bride down the aisle. The tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where the flower girl carried wheat and herbs for the bride and groom.

Flower girls aren't a necessity for your big day, and we'll go into alternatives later, but if you decide to incorporate the tradition into your wedding, there might be some questions that arise. Like, who should the flower girl be? What should they wear? And how old should they be? Ahead, we talk to event planner Roxanne Bellamy to get the answers to these questions and more.

Meet the Expert

Roxanne Bellamy is an event planner and founder of Roxanne Bellamy & Co.

The History of Flower Girls

Upper-class Greeks and Romans often included little girls in the wedding procession. They would walk ahead of the bride, “showering her path with grains and herbs,” which of course represented the collective hope that this woman could also make little humans just like the ones tossing oatmeal, lest she be doomed to a life of barren dread.

The interpretation of this tradition got a little looser and a little weirder around the Elizabethan era when the inclusion of children in the wedding party itself was more a reflection of how the culture idealized childhood, seeing kids as “symbols of hope and innocence.” Since the flower girl walks down the aisle before the bride, she's meant to represent a younger, more innocent version of the bride and the transformation from child to adult.

Flower Girl FAQs

Who should be the flower girl?

"Flower girls can be nieces, cousins, or even your college best friend's daughter," Bellamy explains.

How old should they be?

Usually, they range from three to eight years old. You can, of course, go with someone younger as long as you're confident in their ability to get down the aisle.

Can I have more than one?

Definitely! If you have a big family or a bunch of nieces, it might be a good idea to include everyone to avoid anyone feeling left out. If you've decided to include several little attendants in your bridal party, there are many duties they'd no doubt love to take on. Ask one flower girl to walk with you and carry your train while another helps escort a beloved pet down the aisle. They can hold hands with each other as they walk down the aisle or opt for a wagon ride with the eldest flower girl pulling the littlest ones.

What should they wear?

Traditionally, the flower girl's dress is similar to the bride's gown. But you can also have her dress mirror that of the bridesmaids, whether that's incorporating a similar print or the same color. As far as where to get a dress, Bellamy suggests Pantora Bridal or Saks.

Who should pay for the dress?

Typically, their parents are expected to pay for the outfit. If what you're envisioning is a bit pricey though, you might volunteer to cover the cost.

What are they responsible for exactly?

"Their main duty is to charm the pants off guests, leaving them smiling from ear to ear," Bellamy says. "Some are very shy and walk timidly down the aisle while others take their responsibilities seriously, meticulously placing each petal in the 'perfect' spot for the bride." Mostly, they're there to set a cute tone for the bride to walk down the aisle.

Do they have to throw flowers?

Nope, they can carry everything from colorful balloons to pinwheels or a bottle of bubbles to blow as they walk down the aisle. The possibilities are endless.

How will they process?

If the flower girl is old enough to walk on her own, she should head down the aisle after the wedding party and before the bride. If they're too young to walk or tend to be a little fussy or shy, involving their mom or dad to help carry or hold their hand is also an option. Bellamy adds, "The biggest concern my clients have is wanting assurance that the flower girls will fulfill their duty without getting stage fright. I assure you that's not a concern because, inevitably, guests will coo at them or coax them down the aisle somehow." 

Do I also have to have them at the reception?

Not if you don't want to. If you're having a no-kids-allowed wedding, tell the flower girl's parents in advance and help to arrange a babysitter to look after them as the party happens.

Should I get them a thank-you gift?

It's a nice idea, especially if you're getting the rest of your wedding party something. It doesn't have to be that expensive, a doll or a personalized gift box are just some ideas.

Flower Girl Alternatives

You can choose to skip out on having flower girls altogether, or you can get creative by giving the role to a friend or family member that isn't already a part of the wedding party. You can even give this role to a pet who is trained and able to follow the cue of when to walk down the aisle. Some people are inviting their grandparents to walk down the aisle instead. The idea is to incorporate them into your big day and honor them in some way. The act became somewhat of a trend last year and has made the concept of "flower grandmas" a thing.

If you still want the little ones to be a part of your wedding, but you're not into the origins of the flower-girl tradition, you can also have them be greeters at the wedding, waving to guests as they arrive to set a fun, cute mood. Or, if they're older and capable enough, recruit them to be the ushers who are typically responsible for handing out programs and escorting guests to their respective sides.

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