Ever found yourself wondering what thoughts are running through your groom's mind during the wedding planning process? Even if you haven't, the women at BRIDES certainly have (wait, does he actually care about dahlias vs. peonies?! Unclear.). Thankfully, we've got the guys over at The Plunge to give us some insight into the (often cryptic) inner workings of the soon-to-be-married male brain.
Pinterest. Is that the one with the boards and the needles? Oh right, it’s pins. How could we forget—it’s like what, our fifth favorite social media platform? You can see how we’d easily be confused: that’s because looking at yet another roundup of “rustic tablescapes” can feel like having a thousand tiny needles stabbing you in the eyes.
We understand the place of Pinterest when it comes to our wedding—it’s there to help. Most of the work is done for you already (it’s not like you have to create the actual pins). All you have to do is download the app and, well, look at things (so...many...things). That doesn’t sound so hard...but sometimes it is. It really is. In a sea of social media, it’s another kraken trying to ensnare us in its tentacled stranglehold and drag us down to the murky, digital depths. And really, who has time for that?
These are mindless. They give our brain that quick fix and then we move on to the next one (and the next one). Not the case with Pinterest. With the pins, and the boards, and all the pinning to the boards, we really have to be thoughtful.
Pinterest is the weekend homework assignment of social media. There we said it. So think back to junior high. What did we do when we got hit with that homework assignment on a Friday afternoon? Well, we punted it to Sunday night—but it hung over us all weekend long. We couldn’t shake it. So, we don’t want to make the same mistake as 13-year-old us—but when it comes to adding another round of “pineapple wedding favors” to that cursed board, all we want to do is punt on Pinterest. Unfortunately, that’s against the rules and we will be penalized...heavily.
If Pinterest is a game we can’t quit, all that’s left is clock management and making the experience feel as quick and painless as possible. The key is to carve out an agreed-upon time to look at all those pretty Pinterest wedding boards. That means no random texts during work hours about whether the floral arrangement should be pinned by the color or the flower type. While you may have been thinking of your board all day, he probably hasn’t and is subsequently ill-equipped to give you a quality answer, let alone the one you’re probably looking for. No one gets anything out of that other than utter frustration.
Knowing what his threshold of pain is (as well as his attention span) is going to make this work. If it’s 15 minutes set aside every Saturday afternoon, so be it—you can make the most of that time. Pinterest really is the quickest way to look at multiple things and make a relatively informed decision or at the very least develop some opinion.
So set that agenda. There’s no need to bargain here either, or trade time for something he wants to do to sweeten the deal. You’re adults, this is your wedding, and if you’ve both agreed to committing specific time to planning, then you both need to come prepared to contribute. This is the sort of mutual accountability that you’re going to want in this relationship, right?
Finally, when it comes to Pinterest, be willing to listen to him. If your mind is already set on certain things and you’re just putting him through his paces, then that’s not really helpful and a total waste of time. You know how much you want him to be involved. Be consistent with that but also be completely honest about it. Here’s the great thing though—you don’t have to react to every single one of his opinions in that moment. Just hear him out. You’ll start to see what he’s truly interested in based on his engagement with those Pinterest boards and which direction to push him. Who knew your fiancé was so into cake toppers? Well, you do now.