Are you constantly playing the "they love me...they love me not" game with your inner voice as you anxiously wait for a proposal? Are you driving yourself crazy analyzing every conversation and decision the two of you have made together in the entirety of your relationship? Are you stressing yourself out over how you will cope both emotionally and financially (rent is expensive) when you once again convince yourself that it's not that serious and the connection is spiraling towards its grand demise?
Stop right there.
We get the "waiting for a proposal depression" is real and dark, but tell that demonic little voice that keeps doubting your relationship security and self-worth, "Not today, Subconscious Satan."
If you've concluded with your partner (and yourself) that you're ready for a life together, it's going to happen. Breathe. And if the waiting game feels less like a game, and more like a torture session, take solace in the fact that you're certainly not the only one going through this. Here are 19 thoughts that cross all of our minds when waiting for a proposal.
1. "Okay, how do I make my fingers as ridiculously good looking as possible?"
Now is the time your nail biting habit dies. No more experimenting with weird neon orange shades at the nail salon. Oh, and when should you start scheduling regular manicures? Now? Probably now.
2. "Hmm, I wonder if they'll ask me in [insert upcoming vacation destination here.]"
Idyllic location, premeditated outfits, plus all your family will be there. I mean, why wouldn't your SO be cooking up the dream proposal? It just took you all of 15 seconds to map out how you'd do it if you were in your partner's shoes. Ooh, shoes. You're going to go ahead and pack those heels...y'know, just in case...
3. "Have they talked to anyone else about their grand plan?"
Surely there's a sibling or a best friend from whom you can extract, or to whom you can implant, valuable information. You will be so chill about it. Just a casual "What's up? How's your fantasy team doing?" followed by some flattery and then, "I know you wouldn't let [The Person I Love] embarrass themselves with anything half-baked or cheesy, right?"
4. "Oh, God, please tell me they actually have a plan."
Have some faith! If your relationship has reached "lifetime commitment" status, your future spouse knows you pretty well. They're going to appreciate how much a thoughtful proposal will mean to you. Here are some stories of real people who came through—just like your SO will when they're good and ready to bend the knee.
5. "I hope I like the ring. OH, SUGAR. What if I don't like the ring!?"
It's one of every almost-engaged-person's greatest fears. After all, you're supposed to wear this thing forever. It'd be so awkward to have to tell your better half it's not your style, and faking it would be even worse. Why don't you think about dropping a few not-so-subtle hints?
6. "Is it creepy that I keep rummaging through their stuff like a gopher?"
No way they would hide the ring at the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper. That's disgusting...you're going to check, aren't you?
7. "Should I stop buying anything monogrammed for now?"
You don't want to engrave your last name initial on a new bag if that letter is going to change anytime soon. When are you allowed to start using your married-self's monogram without looking like a psycho person anyway? Grrr. Now you just want to shop...
8. "Seriously cannot wait to be a wifey, and buy everything inscribed with "wifey" or "bride" or "Mrs." or any other relevant title."
You probably won't use any of that stuff for more than a few months tops, but who cares? The mere thought of finally being able to call them your fiancé gets you giddy inside like a little schoolgirl. Did you just scribble a heart on a business memo? Whatever. It's cute.
9. "How the heck am I expected to get any work done when my office has an Internet connection? Bring on the inspiration, Interweb..."
10. "Is it too soon to show them this wedding Pinterest board I created when I was 18?"
Maybe you'll just keep it a secret for now....praise be for privacy settings. You can get a jumpstart on wedding planning without looking like the crazy person without a ring. Or, bump the haters, and pin away. Who knows? You may be surprised to find your future spouse comes to the wedding planning table with a few ideas of their own.
11. "And speaking of secrets, who do I tell first when it happens?"
What's the order? Eternal thanks to the inventor of blind cc'ing on email threads because you know better than to send a mass text message. All those responses? Your phone would be dead in minutes—before you even get to the social media post. (Spoiler alert: that's last.)
12. "What is my Instagram caption going to be? Does this mean I go ahead and figure out the wedding hashtag too?"
Eh, why not? Here's some help.
13. "Did he just put on a shirt with a collar for date night? IT'S HAPPENING TONIGHT."
Any time your SO plans something nice, you're getting suspicious. But, you don't want to get your hopes up in case it doesn't happen. Now you're talking yourself out of every possibility at the same time. Then again, it really is the perfect opportunity...
14. "Ha. Such a clever way to throw me off. This is actually a good lesson in staying on top of my laundry, so I'll have all my favorite ensembles at my (ring finger's) fingertips the next time they don a nice shirt."
Have you even thought about what you'll wear for engagement photos?
15. "Ugh, I swear if I see another engagement announcement on any social media platform I'm going to #puke."
As if waiting on your other half to pop the question isn't tough enough, it seems like every time you check social media someone else is getting engaged. How is your little sister's best friend from kindergarten possibly old enough to be getting married? She's got to be, like, 16 years old at most.
16. "Well, if they don't propose by [insert deadline here] I am out of here."
Whether you've been patiently waiting for two weeks or two years, it feels like time goes by as slow as molasses once you've had "the talk." We know, and are figuratively sending you soothing hair pats. But don't do anything you'll regret: Remember, ultimatums are generally not a good idea.
17. "Do I even want him to propose anymore?"
Second-guessing is normal; marriage is a BFD. But if you're twenty-second-guessing, take a moment to really think about what is causing the concern. Are you actually apprehensive about your future as a couple or are you just a little nervous about the smaller things that may not seem so small at the moment (like planning a wedding)?
18. "Maybe I should just propose to them..."
Maybe you should! We are all for rewriting the rules.
19. "Okay, I'm done overthinking this. We love each other. That's all I need to know. It'll happen when it happens."
Good for you! Atta way to rein in all your unbridled bridal thoughts. You are a mind-warrior goddess. Now, if you figure out how to make this mindset last for longer than two minutes, please tell us your secret immediately.