Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But when you've worked hard to make your wedding day uniquely yours, the last thing you want is someone outright stealing your style, even a friend. "Depending on the bride, the motivations of her friend, and the extent of the copying, it could make her feel proud and confident or disappointed and betrayed," explains Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist and friendship expert at The Friendship Blog. And no one needs the latter. So whether your friend is taking a cue from your couture wedding gown or your calligraphy invitations, here's what you can do.
First, consider your friend might not realize her love of your Christian Louboutins is actually bothering you. "There can be a number of motivations that drive someone to copy aspects of someone else's wedding, both positive — think: admiration, respect for the friend's judgment, convenience — and negative," explains Levine. If your friend's motivation is less than nefarious, "she may not be aware that her actions are being viewed in a negative light, and the bride should speak to her friend and point out that 'copying' is taking away the 'uniqueness' of her special day," Levine says.
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If that doesn't stop the copycat in her tracks, you may "have to keep certain aspects of the wedding a surprise from your friend and not tell her everything you're planning," says Levine. It's also smart to ask your maid-of-honor to or another bridal attendant to "signal that the friend's behavior may be in poor taste," she says.
In the end remember: Your wedding day will be unique, because it's the day that you and your love make a very special commitment to each other. No amount of idea stealing can change that!