What Really Happens In Relationships Today?

A new study surveyed 5,000 people to find out

Updated 06/26/18

Witthaya Prasongsin / Getty Images

Australian company Forktip anonymously surveyed 5,000 people “in a relationship” to find out what actually goes on behind closed doors. What they discovered were some juicy sex secrets!

“We wanted to understand how relationships and ‘mating rituals’ are evolving,” the surveyors said. “And we threw in some hairy questions just for fun too.”

To gauge how people think about revealing to their partner how many people they have slept with, the survey asked: “Do you lie to your current partner about your number of ex’s?" 79.2% of women said “yes,” compared to 50.3% of men. Double standard much? When asked by how much they modified the number, 30.2% percent said they removed “nearly all,” while 59.7% said they “halved the number,” and 10.1% said they lowered the number by “just a few.” Apparently, nobody wants to be perceived as a tramp. The people who conducted the survey threw in a snarky sex tip and said, “As a new rule of thumb, just double the number of ex’s your partner said they had, just to be safe.”

And according to this survey, cheating is alive and well. When asked, “Have you cheated on your current partner?” 40.4% of men and 30.9% of women said yes. Note that the survey didn’t say how many couples were actually married as opposed to in a relationship (but it's still kinda creepy).

“How many times have you cheated?” was the next question. 16.4% said “one time,” a whopping 52.4% said “more than one time,” and 31.2% said “ongoing.” The most startling result of the survey came from the question: “Who did you cheat with?” No randos here: 23.8% said “with partner’s friend”, 22.4% said “with a work colleague,” and 3.9% said, “with someone in partner’s family." Remind me not to introduce my future husband to any of my friends or family...

And in the excuses for cheating department, the top reasons for cheating were “lack of enjoyment and fun,” "not having enough sex,” "partner cheated first,” and "partner not leaving sexually satisfied.” For the potential cheaters out there, if it has gotten to that point, it’s time to talk about your no-fun, sexless life with each other, or it will only get worse.

One of the juiciest questions posed to women was: “Would you be open to a bi-sexual relationship or a threesome with another woman?” Almost a third (27.3%) said "yes"! The survey didn’t delineate between what age groups answered this question, but studies have shown that millennials are more open to “gender fluidity” than their older counterparts.

The survey asked one “pillow talk” question in the form of: “What things do women like their partners to say to them in bed?" “Makes me call him Daddy” interestingly came in first, “tells me how tight it is” came in second, and “tells me how much he is enjoying it” came in third (which everyone should be telling their partner in bed, always).

One of the “hairy” (more like horny) questions asked was: “Would you participate in an orgy with your current partner?” Get this: 19.9% said “only if the other couples were hot,” 56% said “no way,” and 24.1% said it “would take a few drinks.” Sounds about right.

And what is it that women don’t like about their male partners? Apparently, women hate “weird noises.” The survey didn’t explain exactly what weird noises they were referring to, but we can only guess loud grunting...? Screaming...? Clucking or quacking...? “Ejaculates too quick” was a big answer, as was “changes position too frequently,” which can keep a woman from having an orgasm just as she is about to get off.

Sex surveys are fun because they open up the sexual convo and give you an excuse to bring up awkward sexual issues that should be talked about — or else they may never change. The more you talk about sex with your partner, no matter how embarrassing, weird, or ridiculous it is, the more closeness there will be between the two of you.

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