What Not to Say to Your Friend Who is Engaged and Pregnant

Are you sure you’re not having twins?

Updated 05/29/17

Courtesy of Instagram/alicemahran

As if random commentary during pregnancy isn’t hard enough (“Can I touch your belly?!” “Are you planning on breastfeeding?” “Is he the father?”), imagine the added stressor it becomes while planning a wedding. Here are some topics to avoid while the pregnant bride is all hopped up on hormones.

“Are You Doing This Just Because You Got Knocked Up?”

Getting pregnant is an exciting, yet terrifying time, especially if it is the first go around. Becoming a new mom brings on a whole new set of fears: “Will I be good at it? Will I ever sleep again? What if something goes wrong?”

Adding to that already unnerving list of questions: “Is my partner even right for me?” Well, that would be the icing on the cake for the pregnant bride. While this may be a valid concern of yours—just being a good friend and all—broach the subject if your pregnant girlfriend raises her own concerns about it first. The best thing you can do during this time is offer a listening ear and be her calming force, not throw a monkey wrench in her preggo brain.

“Do You Think You’ll Be This Sick On Your Wedding Day?”

She probably hadn’t thought of that, but now she will! The first trimester can be a doozy—I know from experience. I’m not sure why they call it “morning sickness.” I believe it should be called: “your worst hangover from college 24/7 sickness.” That would describe it more accurately.

While mine, thankfully, subsided by week 16, some women are sick during their entire pregnancy. Along with all the usual things you should have in your bridesmaid kit, be sure to have some anti-nausea pregnancy pops, ginger ale, water, saltines, and any other carb-saturated goodness.

For pregnant women who are sick, it’s important to stay hydrated and eat about every two hours to avoid feeling even sicker. Be the person who reminds her to do these things so she can look and feel her best that day!

“What If Your Dress Doesn’t Fit?”

She’s already stressing about this. Don’t remind her, unless you feel like witnessing a possible meltdown of epic proportions. One of the top insecurities during pregnancy is what starts to happen to your body. You never knew your skin could stretch so far or your hips could grow so wide...until they do.

So, pile on those compliments. Your friend will cherish them when you are so tired and your hips are so sore—a “You’re glowing!” comment can brightens her whole day (or at least the next few minutes). Don’t add to her insecurity; distract her from it with even more positive body image reinforcement.

Hopefully you can help your friend enjoy her big day while totally embracing that bump at the same time!

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