If you ask three different people on the street to detail their ideal sex fantasy, you'll obviously receive three varying answers. Maybe Person A envisions a tussle on the sands of a deserted island somewhere, while Person B dreams of being tied up and thrown around a red room of pain, and Person C just wants to do it on a plane one time. Still, it turns
on out that most people characterize good sex and bad sex in similar ways.
For the past eight years, Match (yes, as in Match.com) has surveyed thousands of singles across the United States about their love and sex lives for their "Singles in America" study. We've got the latest 2018 results right here on what behaviors the majority of folks agree earn a thumbs way, way down in the bedroom. But hey, don't be discouraged if you see one of your moves listed as a don't for the masses. The actual definition of good sex is anything enjoyed between two consenting adults, so an item on one person's X-list could easily end up on another couple's XXX-list. You guys do you, or, I guess, each other…
7 Examples of What Not to Do During Sex
1. Don't Talk Too Much
Honest communication? Integral for sex. Well-placed dirty talk? Great. We love it. Incessant talking about Janice's annoying nail-biting habit during office meetings? Full stop, please. Approximately 82 percent of survey respondents said too much chatting during sex kills the mood every time.
2. Don't Do It Just to Do It
Men and women want some 🔥🔥🔥 in the bedroom! Even if it's technically consensual, 74 percent of singles said passionless sex is bad sex.
3. Don't Try to Play it Cool
Remember that Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner movie, Ghost of Girlfriends Past? Yeah, it wasn't that great, but one line McConaughey delivers towards the end of the film stuck with me: "Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less." Especially early on in a relationship, it's easy to think that apathy will make you seem mysterious and alluring. Lies! If you ask 83 percent of survey participants, the number one ingredient for great consensual sex is caring. Enthusiasm (83 percent), good communication (78 percent), good kissing (76 percent), and orgasm (75 percent), follow in turn.
4. Don't Stay Too Still
Um, unless your partner is some kind of Walking Dead fanatic, he or she probably doesn't want you lying limply like a zombie under him or her during sex. Sixty-three percent said "little to no movement from their partner" was a no-no. And women especially (69 percent) didn't appreciate an immobile partner who acts like more of a stationary mount than an invested human being.
5. Don't Dare Neglect the Kissing
What a truth. I'm contemplating selling "Don't be a sucker. Practice your pucker" buttons because we need to get this message out there, people! Over three quarters of respondents (76 percent) regard being a good kisser as a priority.
6. Don't Skip the Foreplay
Contrary to the teachings of Jason Derulo, you never just want to "get down to business and skip foreplay." Sixty-eight percent of women say no foreplay equates to bad sex. And here's a sweet thought! More than half (51 percent) of the straight male responders cared about more than the actual penetrative act—by reporting that not saying "I love you" can ruin sex.
7. Don't Give Up
Now for some encouraging news! First, one less-than-stellar sexual experience does not a failure make. Only 14 percent of those surveyed said that having bad sex for the first time is a deal breaker. Most people agreed that, as with most anything, sex is made better through practice. Remember: "A caring, enthusiastic, and communicative" partner is more important for good sex than a partner who prompts an orgasm. Most of us are in this for an emotional "O" just as much as the physical one.