If you clicked on this article you may be thinking, “More tips for him! No tips for me!” Sure, there is a lot of attention paid to “pleasing your man in bed.” You’ve seen the guides everywhere.
Yet, we’re thinking about this all wrong. Sex is a partnered activity and if you’re a woman married to (or in a long-term relationship with) a man, you are still partners. You still have an equal right to pleasure and a sexually fulfilling love life, right?
Your partner craves certain things in bed, he may just not be comfortable communicating those cravings (or even know how). Here are 6 sex cravings he has that you may not have considered. And trust us, you’ll get off on them too.
1. Let him watch you touch yourself
Visuals are hot. They just are. Some professionals will say things like “men are more visually stimulated than women,” but we all know seeing is hot AF, regardless of gender. Add in a “forbidden fruit” style role play, and you’ll have him on his knees (hopefully literally!). Take out your vibrator (or hand, whichever you prefer). Have him sit (or kneel) at the edge of the bed.
Instruct him not to touch you until you come, or until you tell him he can.
Lie back on the pillows like the queen you are, spread your legs and have him watch you masturbate. The sight of you pleasuring yourself will drive you both bonkers. Bonus points if you tie his hands together with a tie or tee shirt.
2. Take control (yes, get on top)
For all our lazy girls out there, sometimes you do have to get on top. It’s easy to just lie back and let things happen to your body. We’re so in our heads during sex that adding the strain of focusing on control during sex can be overwhelming. Not to mention that thigh burn.
But look at it from your partner’s perspective: If he’s doing all the work all the time, that isn’t really fair, right? You’d hate if he did that to you. So, change it up and try new positions. It doesn’t need to be cowgirl every time, try positions where you’re in control.
Not into cowgirl? That’s OK. Try leaning in while on top. Rest your forearms on either side of his head. This way you can slide back and forth with support from your arms (spread out the cardio, hallelujah!). Plus, you can whisper super dirty things in his ear when you’re this close to his face.
3. Be direct about what you want
If you want something, say something. Women are conditioned to take what we’re given and to never speak up. This is BS and your partner does not want you to do this in bed. If you need him to up the ante on foreplay, ask him to go down on your or touch you until you’re properly stimulated for sex.
If a position is uncomfortable for you, ask him to do something else. When he’s doing the thing you enjoy correctly, let him know. Being direct is incredibly hot. Communicating your desires is the only way to get what you want in bed. Your partner is not a mind-reader, so do not fake orgasms. Instead, ask for the things that will help get you off—he craves giving YOU pleasure.
4. Give attention to more than just his penis
His penis is a magical thing, to be sure, but there is so much more to his pleasure centers than the main attraction. There are the balls, the perineum and the prostate to explore. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what he’d be open to trying. We’re sure he’s already given it some thought. Each of these areas is rich with nerves and can add to all kinds of sexual activities whether it be blow jobs, intercourse, or a good old hand job.
We suggest starting with his balls, if this is your first foray into play outside of the Penis Box. Wondering how to get started? We have a complete guide right here.
5. Touch yourself during sex
Again, visuals are highly stimulating. Touching yourself during sex will get him going. The combination of penetration and tactile clitoral action is a nearly divine experience and should be taken advantage of by one and all.
Two in three women require clitoral stimulation in order to experience orgasm. So, if you get your fingers or a small toy in where you need them, you’ll experience more authentic pleasure and he’ll get to bare witness to it in all its glory. He craves knowing without a doubt that you’re loving the sex so, make sure you actually do.
6. Make some noise
This is not the library. This is sex. Make some noise! Being dead silent is a kink for some, but there are few people who enjoy a church mouse partner during playtime. If something is working for you, say so.
You don’t have to lean into porn star-level theatrics, but if your partner has his face between your thighs and it feels amazing, don’t forget an “OH YES!” and some encouraging moans. Positive affirmation goes a long way.
You know what else he wants? Dirty talk. Take it to the next level with this guide.