Watching the honeymoon tan fade can be brutal for some brides. After you've been the center of attention for so many months, it can feel anticlimactic to unpack your bags and return to the humdrum of everyday life. (With a mountain of thank-you notes to crank out, to boot.) Some newlyweds go through wedding withdrawal. Post-wedding life can seem flat, dull, and even a bit empty. After months of filling every spare second stressing about the wedding, some couples find themselves staring at each other, "Okay, now what do we do?"
This lack of tasks may initially feel like a void in your life. After a few too many quiet nights at home à deux, your instinct will be to grab your phones and get your Google calendar filled up.
Not so fast, newlyweds. If you pack your days, nights, and weekends immediately following your honeymoon with social events, you're avoiding the void. Staying busy is not what you need now. You need time for quiet, inactivity, and stillness. In this calmer space, you can connect more authentically with not only yourself but also your new husband. In other words, spending a Sunday lazily reading the newspaper on your new couch can be more marriage-strengthening than racing from brunch with a gang of friends to tennis with another couple to dinner at your parents' house.
When newlyweds give themselves privacy to simply be together in their first months of marriage, a cocoon builds up around them. Many couples report a reigniting of grand passions between them. Having made a lifelong commitment to each other, you may experience new and deeper feelings of connection — engulfing, crazy-in-love, bordering-on-obsession engrossment with your spouse.
Why? You're opening yourself up to really feel the long-term-commitment place in your brain that's newly lit up like a pinball machine. Day by married day, the high of your wedding grows into deeper, stronger, and steadier feelings of family and forever. By tuning out the world and focusing so intensely on each other, you're getting to know yourselves in your new roles as husband and wife. So enjoy this sweet time of cocooning, just the two of you, and remember that it's vital in building a strong foundation to your family.
Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is a bridal counselor, creator of How Brides-To-Be REALLY Feel videos, and author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.