Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge. For this installment, they're sharing the 11 things that crosses a guy's mind before he proposes.
Aside from the important issues like, "What's for lunch?" Here's what is probably going through your guy's head before he pops the question:
1. "What am I thinking?"
So many things race through our brains before we pop the question that we're susceptible to paralysis by analysis. The most effective cure for this relentless thought-worm is to jump straight in with both feet, a.k.a., put a ring on it.
2. "Does her family like me?"
More accurately, "Does her old man secretly want to kill me in my sleep?"
3. "How do I know she's the one?"
There's a scene in Full Metal Jacket (one of your guy's favorite movies, FYI) where a barrack full of Marine recruits polish their guns and recite the Rifleman's Creed: "This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine," it begins. They proceed to say the rifle is the soldier's "best friend" and "life," without which he is useless and vice versa. You are our rifle. There are many other rifles, but our rifle is here by our side right now, and we love our rifle. Most importantly, we only need one rifle.
4. "Will she say yes?"
We're pretty sure we know, but we don't really know until we know, you know?
5. "How will my life change?"
Also known as "Is this my last brodeo?" or as our buddies would try to convince us, "Life's over, brah." Every guy wonders if he'll have to settle into the nest after the wedding. Most get over it pretty quickly, though, because 1) we know you want us to be happy and we'd never have made it this far if you tried to keep us from every round of golf with the guys, and 2) we understand growth requires change. Plus, we'd never prevent you from spending time with your girls or doing things you enjoy after we got married, so there's no reason to assume that will happen to us. Which is good, because our fantasy football dynasty must live on!
6. "How will her life change?"
Sweatpants all the time! This is another fear that is easy to dismiss on the same lines as above. Of course you'll change as our life together evolves, but it would be much more worrisome if everything always stayed the same.
7. "How will our sex life change?"
If your answer isn't, "For the better," you're doin' it wrong.
8. "Will she make a good mom?"
Yes, because she is a good friend, daughter, lover, and person. Also known as, "If not, what am I still doing here?"
9. "Is the ring still there?"
We ask ourselves this after every question on the list (and before, in between, at work, and in our sleep). As soon as we have that ring we become the most paranoid person on earth. What if the cat learned to open drawers and ate it? What if the underpants gnomes steal it? It's in my pocket? This is every man's greatest, most irrational pre-proposal fear. By the time we ask, we're ready to throw it at you like a hot potato. "Here, just take it!"
10. "Do we have the right plan?"
We do our best to plan for finances, career moves, and retirement, but you just never know what might happen. It's got nothing to do with our feelings for you; we just wish we could gaze into the future and know things work out exactly as we both hope.
11. "I am a genius."
We men tend to outthink ourselves in the lead-up to proposing, but in the end it's a no-brainer. For all the soul-searching and hand wringing it takes to find the one and decide to take the plunge, knowing we're about to start a future with the love of our life makes us feel like we have all the answers.