Planning a wedding is a wonderfully exciting time for the bride, the groom, and—more often than not—their mothers. The mother-of-the-bride or the future mother-in-law may start to tag along to events, tastings, and find a way to hack your wedding to-do list and become your daily alert system without you giving them an invite to do so. But instead of shooing them away or trying to give them the cold shoulder while you finalize decisions on your own, here are eight tricks to keep them happy and involved.
1. Put them at the top of your call list
Whenever something big happens post-engagement—you book your date or venue, or you choose a color theme—carve out some spare time to give them a ring and let them know about these milestones.
2. Invite them to your dress appointments
If you don't want a big audience while you're making your decision of which dress to go with, invite the mothers to a dress fitting or a special session just for them where you try on the dress you've picked.
3. Ask them for help
…even if it's to take care of small details or crafts. Find tasks for them that you think they'll enjoy and that you won't have to micromanage.
4. Set boundaries
When you're making your guest list, let them know as soon as you can how many people they can invite. Let them know what you'd like their help with and what you'd like to take on yourself.
5. Let them know their opinion matters
Be sure to occasionally ask their opinion on things when you're making a decision. Even if you don't go with what they choose, it will make them feel included.
6. Learn about their weddings
Ask them about the details of their weddings. Perhaps there are some family traditions you didn't know about that you want to incorporate into your wedding.
7. Thank them
Don't take their help for granted during the wedding planning process. Be sure to acknowledge your appreciation for them and what they have done for you.
8. Include them
When you're planning wedding events, photos on the day-of, or even hair and makeup appointments for the wedding, ask them if they'd like to join.
Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates