There’s no better way to honor your closest friends than to ask them to be members of your wedding party. They’ve stood by your side through thick and thin, so having them by your side as you walk down the aisle is super meaningful. But what if, while you adore most of your fiancé’s friends, there’s one you really can’t stand — and your fiancé is proposing that he should be a groomsman? Our experts have a few tips on how to proceed.
Before you sit down with your hubby-to-be to discuss the situation, think it through. Why don’t you like this particular groomsman? Is your reasoning around something serious? Whether he’s personally insulted or offended you or has wronged you or your fiancé in some way, begin by discussing it with your fiancé, especially if the topic has never come up before. Calmly talk through why you’re opposed to his choice. You can’t tell him that they can’t be friends, but if you haven’t had the opportunity to voice your concern about the friend in question, you may finally have found your chance to air any grievances (especially if this groomsman has done something that makes you really uncomfortable or makes you feel unsafe). Politely request that your fiancé not consider this friend as part of his wedding party as a way to limit your interaction with him. You shouldn’t remove him from the guest list, but you can always seat him at a farther table and ask your fiancé to try to keep his involvement in the day's events to a minimum.
If it’s a more superficial reason (say, he’s loud and rowdy or never offers to help clean up when he comes over), consider letting things slide, just a bit. Aside from a few moments during wedding party pictures, you won’t have to interact with him hardly at all! Just make sure you give him a seat at a far end of the head table. Trust us, you'll have so much on your mind and so many people to talk to — on your big day you’ll be fine.