*Our etiquette experts know that creating a guest list is by far one of the toughest parts of planning a wedding. With a little thought ahead of time, you'll navigate this tricky situation without offending your friends and family. *
Creating a guest list is one of the more difficult and argument-inducing moments of wedding planning. Unfortunately, it comes at the beginning of the planning stages, so try not to get discouraged if you and your spouse are not seeing eye to eye. Keep coming back to the table to make sure you draft a guest list that's satisfactory for all involved parties. Otherwise, this could become a sticking point of frustration down the road. The B-list should be set at the same time as the initial list of guests so that there are no last-minute additions or confusion close to the wedding date.
Now comes the tricky part — making sure guests don't realize they were on the B-list. First, you want to group people accordingly so that one work colleague doesn't receive her invitation weeks before the others who made the B-list. Also consider the timeline of when you mail invitations and when RSVPs are due. You either need to start sending out wedding invitations close to 10 weeks prior to the wedding so that RSVPs start rolling in immediately (leaving six to eight weeks for B-listers to receive their invitations) or create a second set of RSVP cards with a later date, because receiving an invitation a week prior to the RSVP deadline is a dead give away that the invitation was late in the mail. Once the lists and timeline are finalized, stick to the plan. Don't start inviting people within a week of the wedding — it's rude and they will be offended. Those who attend do so because they want to witness your nuptials and celebrate the marriage, so enjoy the guests who are present rather than stewing over those who aren't.