Wedding gift etiquette can get complicated quickly. How much should you spend? How many events should you bring a gift to? Should we mail it or bring it to the wedding? And if you're already married and were slighted by one particular guest not giving you and your spouse a wedding gift, it's easy to feel like you should seek revenge and show up empty-handed to your friend's wedding, as well... right? Here's what our etiquette experts think you should do.
Resist the temptation! While you might think that there's no reason to bring a gift if you weren't given one at your own wedding, you've got a chance to be the bigger person and wipe the slate clean. No one will judge you for cutting back a little on your gift-giving budget, but weddings are supposed to be happy, celebratory occasions, so leave the animosity at home.
When you're picking a gift, remember to be thoughtful. If you're close friends, you might want to go off-registry and pick something you know they'd love but might not have asked for (like a cozy throw for their Saturday night movie binges or an amazing serving plate that would be perfect for their monthly dinner parties). If you're less close, keep an eye out for items on their registry that they asked for multiples of. Two short of a set of twelve plates? Done! Five out of six bath towels? Grab the last one. Even if you're choosing a less expensive gift than you'd usually buy, still make sure it's something they'll be happy to get.
And above all else, don't bring up the fact that you didn't get a gift from them, whether it's on your card or at the wedding in person. It might have gotten lost in the mail, or they might have completely forgotten. Either way, now's not the time to shame anyone. And who knows, maybe getting a gift from you will be just the reminder they needed to finally mail the gift that's been sitting in their living room for months.