A wedding planner often seems like a magical creature who can snap their fingers and things just happen. They do it all and then some, and a great wedding planner is worth every penny. But do they really do EVERYTHING? We asked our experts, and a wedding planning pro, to fill us in on the things you actually can’t ask your wedding planner to do.
Arguing with your fiancé or your mom? Don’t bring your planner into it — they’re not marriage counselors! “The only time you can involve your planner in a dispute and ask them to help solve it is if the problem at hand is about a wedding planning decision,” says Renny Pedersen, creative director of Bliss Weddings & Events. “If it’s a personal matter, absolutely do not ask your planner to mediate or weigh in.”
Before you ask your planner to run errands for you, check in to see if there is a fee associated with it (especially if it requires extra hours). “We have picked up and dropped off the bride or groom’s attire from the cleaner,” says Pedersen. “Some errands like that, which don’t occur on your wedding day, may incur an extra cost, but that will vary from planner to planner.” Something she won’t do? Transport your beloved pets. “They’re special family members, so we prefer to leave that task to someone appointed specifically by our clients.”
Care for Sick Guests
“Unfortunately, we have definitely had to call ambulances or cars for guests who have gotten sick,” says Pedersen. “In most instances, it is because they had a food allergy they did not make anyone aware of before dinner.” While your planner will definitely take the lead in making sure your guest is properly cared for, they’d much rather avoid the situation altogether with advanced planning — so don’t assume those details don’t matter because someone is in charge and will handle it!
Cater to the Wedding Party
While your planner will definitely help keep track of your belongings and important items, their focus is on you and they can’t provide the same service to your bridesmaids and groomsmen. “We’re there to make sure they get dressed and ready on time, but we have too much on our plates making your wedding day happen seamlessly to run errands or carry personal items for the wedding party,” Pedersen explains. “We don’t want to be accountable for anything that’s missing later in the night, and we’ve already got enough on our plates!” Requests from the wedding party means your planner can’t focus on their number one priority: You.
Be Available 24/7
Unless it’s your wedding day, your planner is only available during regular business hours. Remember, they do have other clients (as well as personal lives!). “We are not available at all hours. We won’t return a text at 5:30 a.m. or answer a call at midnight,” says Pedersen. When you’re first meeting with your planner and reviewing their contract, the two of you can discuss when they are and aren’t available — then stick to where the line is drawn as much as possible.
Set Up Everything
Unless you’ve hired a planner whose services include full set-up of your reception space, don’t spring this on them at the last minute. “We aren’t a rental company or a florist. We don’t arrange flowers, set up chairs, or unwrap and remove the price tags from the hundred votive candles you purchased and then handed over the morning of your wedding,” explains Pedersen. If you will need your planner’s assistance with these things, it needs to be discussed before your wedding day arrives so they can plan and staff accordingly.
See More: The Wedding Budget Splurges Real Brides Were Glad They Made