Every bride knows the rhyme of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,” and many choose to honor it on their wedding day. After all, who wouldn’t want a little extra luck as they head down the aisle? Some (or sometimes all!) of these items are loaned or gifted from a close friend or family member. But if your mom has offered to lend you an item to use as your “something borrowed” — and you're not exactly thrilled with the possibility — does a bride have a choice? Our experts weigh in.
As you definitely already know, emotions run high surrounding weddings. That’s especially true for family members including your mom, who may have been waiting for her little girl to walk down the aisle since she was pregnant with you! So when she offers to loan you an item or accessory as your “something borrowed,” tread lightly if you’re not over the moon about it.
First, consider whether it’s something you can have with you without having to totally flaunt it. Items like pins (or even rings) can be affixed to the handle of your bouquet or the inside of your dress, where you’ll know it’s there as you head down the aisle but it won’t visibly clash with your color scheme or décor. You may not love how it looks, but you’ll be happy to have that little memento close at hand. Just be sure to keep track of it throughout the day so you can easily return it once your wedding is over!
Does she want you to borrow her veil? Consider the style and color of your dress. You’d be surprised how different a white veil and an ivory dress can look side-by-side, and not all lace goes together! And of course, trends have changed in the decades since your mom got married, so it just might not be what you’re looking for. Gently let your mom know that it doesn’t fit in with your vision, and ask if there are other ways you can incorporate the veil into your wedding day. If she’s open to it, you could use some of the fabric to wrap around your bouquet, and if she’d rather keep it intact, consider draping it around the cake table or tucking it around the basket for cards and gifts.
If you can’t find a way to wear or incorporate the piece she’d like you to borrow, think about whether there’s something else you may want to borrow, instead. Is there a ring you’ve loved since you were a little girl, or the perfect wrap in her closet for the chilly walk from the church to your getaway car? She may not have even thought about loaning you something else, but if she knows what it means to you, something that seems inconsequential could become incredibly special.