When you're married or in a long-term relationship, you learn a person's ins and outs. You know their favorite food, their favorite places to hang out, and of course the surefire ways to get their sexual gears turning. So, to keep things funky fresh, you have to change up the routine. There is always room for variety when it comes to stoking the fires of lust.
Turning your partner on isn't all about wearing sexy lingerie or grabbing their junk. You can turn them on without doing anything overtly sexual. It can add a layer of sexiness when their isn't a clear "sex on the brain" motif. Here are 5 awesome ways to turn your partner on without even hitting the sheets...though we're pretty sure you'll end up there eventually.
1. Get flirty!
There are so many ways to flirt. When was the last time you actually flirted with your partner? Back in the days before you lived together? Just because you've been together since forever doesn't mean flirting is off the table. If anything, you should be flirting more. You want to relive those hot AF sparks from the early days of your relationship.
Don't be afraid to get creative. Give your partner the "sexy eyes" from across the room. Lick your lips. Tell her how gorgeous she looks in that new dress. Run a hand down her lower back. Put a hand in the back pocket of his jeans. Send him a sexy text (be graphic!). Say you can't wait for him to get home and strip you.
It's the little things that keep the heat up for years on end. If we forget how to flirt, we forget the fundamental things that get the flow going.
2. Write a sexy note
A text is always appreciated, but a steamy, handwritten note is a piece of old world romance. While your partner is still sleeping, creep into the kitchen and write exactly what you want them to do to you after they've grabbed their coffee. Then, pop back into bed.
"I'm in bed. Naked. Come play."
"Good morning, gorgeous. Get the french press going and then come back to bed so I can get you going."
"Hey, sexy. I want you. Come back to bed."
Or, you can be straight up dirty nasty. Totally up to you. They'll find it and probably think it's a grocery list or, at the very least, something markedly less erotically inclined. It's a surprising, yet intimate way to get their attention. Plus, who doesn't love morning sex?
3. Make time for make outs
Kissing should be a part of the daily routine. When we're busy and stressed, we often forget about the smaller, sweet nothings. When you kiss you partner, your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, the brain's feel-good and bonding chemicals. It makes you feel close to your partner.
Don't limit kissing to a peck before work and one before bed. Make out. Think of being teenagers, watching a movie in your parent's basement before you were sexually active. Making out was the most exciting thing in the world. Get back to the basics to get your partner in on the vibe.
Kissing doesn't need to lead to sex, but we won't blame you if you wind up getting some. It's a big turn on.
4. Set the mood
If you want to turn your partner on, set the mood in your home. A messy, gross house full of florescent lights does not a boner/lady boner make. Clean up a little bit, dim the lights, and put on some mood music. We find Stevie Nicks to be very effective for sexual purposes. If you have Spotify, make a playlist with some of your partner's favorite songs.
If you want to go a step further, make a home-cooked dinner and buy a bottle of wine. Spritz your linens with organic lavender oil and burn your favorite incense. Getting turned on needs the environment. You need a space to unwind from the day. Setting up a sexy, relaxing space will up the game. If you put in the effort, you'll get results.