The truth can hurt, but it’s unavoidable. When a guy says he isn’t the relationship type, isn’t ready for a relationship, or doesn’t want it, he’s telling you a softened version of the truth. This doesn’t mean he won’t be ready in the future, but some things have already happened that have led him to make up his mind about you.
Although his mind might change about relationships, his mind probably won’t change about a relationship with you.
How do you avoid this? How can you go from the girl he used to date to the woman he eventually marries? How to get him to commit depends on the attraction and compatibility factors that are genuinely there.
Here are a few tips that will work at getting him to commit:
1. Don't force it; roll with the punches.
If you have a natural feeling relationship with your man, there will come a time when he’ll commit to you. Don’t try to force or speed up his decision, let things take their natural course. Instead of trying to create a commitment conversation out of the blue, wait for a suitable situation to present itself.
For instance, if only one of you is going to go on a trip, this could be the perfect time to lightly bring up the topic of commitment. He might realize that you may have a romantic opportunity if you’re off jet-setting alone or with friends on some adventure and realize he doesn't want to lose you!
2. Be his teammate.
As silly as it may sound, most guys have sports and war engraved into their DNA coding. They need and want a partner who is on their team. This is essential! Many times, married couples feel most disconnected from each other when they feel like they’re not functioning as a unit.
By no means should you agree on every single topic, but a healthy amount of being on the same page is conducive to compatibility. It’s more about the little things.
For example: If you’re eating out somewhere and your guy cracks a joke about the couple across the bar, don’t just smile or giggle at the joke. If you actually find it amusing or truthful, expand on it. Crack a witty mark of your own! This will show him that you have his back, you’re a team, and above all, you get him.
3. Or even better, be his muse.
"Behind every great man, there stands a great woman" is the truest saying. In this day and age, we’re so caught up in creating our own success that we can often overlook supporting and inspiring our partners properly. Don’t be cheesy or mushy when trying to inspire him, just be constructive, positive, and honest!
If the issue is work-related and you’re not quite sure what he does, ask him to explain it to you or do some Google research regarding his company and position, then you can give him an informed opinion when he bounces ideas off you.
Other ways to inspire him:
—Be earnest and respectful when he is wrong. Handle the situation with positivity and patience (he will realize that it is okay to be wrong around you and may not fight so hard to be right).
—If he's feeling down, point out past his successes and the strengths you see in him that will allow him to succeed again.
Now that you have three great ways to get him to commit, your next relationship could be the winner!
This article originally appeared on YourTango.