Wedding etiquette is no longer just about what to wear or what gift to bring — in an age where our phones are basically glued to our hands with every social media app open, digital etiquette is now just as important as the old rules, if not more so. Here are the dos and don'ts of being a 21st-century wedding guest, courtesy of Jeff Beil, CEO of Tendr a site that lets wedding guests send cash gifts securely. Do your best not to make these digital faux pas at a wedding, or in the days leading up to it.
Don't blast Instagram and Snapchat from the bachelorette party.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas still, ladies. Put your phones away and just have fun — without constantly updating Snapchat and Instagram. It'll make the party more enjoyable — interact with your friends, not your phones! — and the bride won't have to worry about her great-aunt or her future mother-in-law keeping tabs on the last hurrah.
Don't spoil the big moment.
If you happen to get a shot of the bride in her wedding gown before the ceremony, keep it off of social media until after the wedding. If the first time the groom sees his bride on their big day is on social media, you blew it. Let wedding guests get their first look when the bride's at the top of the aisle. When you have the all-clear to post photos, don't forget to use the couples hashtag so they can see them.
Don't use your phone or camera's flash to take pics during the ceremony.
The only flash going off during the ceremony should be on the professional photographer's camera. You can trust that she'll get the best shots and put your phone away, but if you feel like you must take a photo, make sure the flash is off and your phone is on silent. (And if the couple has asked guests to put their phones away listen to them. It's not your job to document the wedding, so respect their wishes for you to just be present.)
Don't give cash as a wedding gift or send it via email.
Sending a wedding gift the same way you pay for your Netflix subscription (with PayPal or a similar site) feels cold. And an envelope of cash can easily go missing. Either write a check, which can be rewritten if it's lost, or mention Tendr to the bride and groom if you'd prefer to send a cash gift digitally.
Don't let your phone be a distraction.
Instead of posting pictures to Instagram and spending time editing captions and choosing a filter, enjoy the party and wait until the next day. The couple invited you to celebrate with them on their special day, so live in the moment and save your uploading and downloading until you get home.
Don't broadcast the wedding details all over social media.
An innocent Tweet can ruin a surprise shower — oops! Plus, keep in mind the bride's feelings: If she had to leave some friends and family members off her guest list, you constantly bringing up her wedding on Facebook could be super-awkward. (Of course, if she's posting a lot and doesn't seem worried about the people who are left out, you can follow her lead.)