Calling our virgin brides, happy wedding day! You've probably been looking forward to this and we are here for you. Losing your virginity is a strange experience no matter the circumstances; It can be weird, awkward, and uncomfortable. But, when you take it slowly and listen to your body, it can also be beautiful. There’s nothing to worry about. Everyone has to have a first time, after all.
Not everyone waits, but it’s totally okay if that’s the choice you made. Here is what to do to make sure your wedding night sex is a tender, loving, pleasurable experience.
Do Your Research
Now, they say nothing beats the real thing, and that is true. The only way to get awesome at sex and to really love it is to straight-up get it on. But, knowing everything there is to know without actually doing it is also important. You are not going to magically know how to do sex stuff—no one does. It’s not a reflex and it doesn’t come naturally. Read everything you can find on sex from reliable sources and learn about your anatomy. It might feel silly, but the only way to figure out how to do something is by reading about it and then doing it.
Get to Know Your Body
Whatever your thoughts or beliefs on masturbation might be, it is very healthy. It helps you get to know your body and figure out what you like. This is important information to have in your back pocket when you embark on IRL sex. If you’re worried about that old myth that masturbation makes you want less sex, don’t be. It’s not true. Masturbation has actually been shown to make you want sex more.
What feels good to you? Take note of everything that brings you pleasure and don’t be afraid to explore. You want your first time with your partner to be wonderful. This means you need to do some field research beforehand.
Don’t Rush to Penetration
In that same vein, you need to focus on foreplay on your wedding night. A big mistake many of us have made our first time is rushing to the “big finish.” We know it feels like you’ve been waiting forever, but now is not the time to get hasty. Listen to what your body is telling you. Your partner, assuming they're also lacking experience, is going to need to slow down as well. Take time to kiss, lick, and touch each other’s bodies. Try oral sex before you have penetrative sex. This might be scary, but it’s worth it. If you rush into penetration, it will be painful. You want to be primed up and set to go.
No matter how wet you get, the nerves of the first time will probably inhibit your ability to be wet enough. The truth is, no one is ever “wet enough.” Lube should now become a staple of your sex routine. You’re putting something inside of something that has never had anything in it before... you will need lube. We promise. Place a generous amount on your partner’s penis and on your vulva. It will help everything slide more smoothly.
Choose a Simple, Comfortable Position
This is your first time having penetrative sex and it's likely not going to be the most incredible feeling you’ve ever known. Vaginal orgasm happens for very few women and it takes patience and a lot of experience. It often feels like physical pressure the first time and it might even hurt a little. Go slowly; Don’t stress out. It’s new terrain, we've all been there. You will likely want to stick to one sex position. Obviously, you can change it up later, but for the first time, you just want to see how everything feels. Go for a position that is comfortable for you. When in doubt, missionary or spooning is your safe bet.
Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Waiting for your wedding night can set you up to fail. Not to sound completely unromantic, but when you’ve cooked up a fantasy in your mind, the real thing can be a letdown. Just remember that this is real life. Going in, expecting to have multiple orgasms from penetration, and to somehow be a wanton sex goddess without any prior knowledge to draw from isn’t particularly likely. It will probably be awkward and a little weird. Everyone feels strange their first time, don’t worry.
Your first time can be a magical experience though (if you follow our tips above). You want it to be good, your partner wants it to be good, and we want it to be good for you. Just remind yourself (and your partner) that this is the first time of many. You two love each other. Trust us when we say, there will be plenty of time to practice.