7 Valentine's Day Sex Tips for Newlyweds

Make it a night to remember

Updated 02/13/19

Jess Craven / Stocksy United

Congrats! It's your first Valentine's Day as a married couple! Are you nervous? You shouldn't be. Valentine’s Day is meant to be enjoyed. February 14 is an excuse to buy lingerie, eat chocolate, and try some kinky sex stuff you’ve been dying to give a go—especially now that the stress of wedding planning is behind you.

Give these newlywed sex tips a try this V-day to ensure a memorable time.

Go big with the sexy factor (both of you)

It’s your first big Valentine’s Day as a married couple, so go big! Grab the lingerie and the champagne and do it up. By no means does this mean you should add pressure to the situation—it's only about making an effort and enjoying yourselves.

Start with a romantic bath, give each other massages, and relax. You don’t have to rush to have sex, and you don’t need to put pressure on yourself to have a screaming orgasm. You just need to have fun—if you come, great. If not, that’s OK too.

Get a sex toy in on the action

A sex toy is a great Valentine's Day addition, because it adds a sense of sexiness to the occasion.

You’ll be excited to try it together and see where the night takes you. Our personal favorite is the Lovely 2.0 cock ring. (It gives a whole new meaning to cowgirl.) The cone shaped clit stimulator will hit you in just the right places. Rock back and forth for a truly mind-blowing orgasm—you’ll never complain about the thigh burn of being on top again.

(For more on cock rings, how they work, and why we love them, see here!)

Choose comfortable lingerie YOU love

Pick an outfit that you feel sexy in. There's no need to go overboard and spend a million dollars on something that will just end up on the floor. But if splurging makes you happy, don't let us stop you.

Your first married Valentine's should be all about feeling hot—hey, if you wanna throw on your wedding dress again, you go girl.

Try something a little kinky

There are so many ways to get kink in on Valentine’s Day. It might be a traditionally romantic holiday, but it’s secretly an excuse to try new and exciting sex stuff. We suggest going for some simple Velcro handcuffs and a silky blindfold. Have your partner tie your wrists to the bed (or you tie them, if you’re feeling dom).

Place the blindfold over their eyes and kiss every single inch of their body starting with their lips and moving down, down, down. Always have a conversation about boundaries and safe words beforehand (don’t worry, we have a guide).

Get those affirmations in on the action

Make sure to let your partner know how good something feels and how sexy they look. This goes both ways. Affirmations help us get more turned on and to stay in the moment. If you’re enjoying something, make some noise! We’re humans and we like to have our egos boosted in bed. Make an effort so everyone feels desirable.

Don’t forget the lube

Lube is an absolute must-have for all enjoyable sexual activity, and Valentine’s Day is no exception. Be sure to stock up on your favorite water-based, oil-based, or silicone-based lubes. (If you’re not using condoms, we suggest an oil-based lube.) Choose something all natural; it has amazing staying power and in most cases can be used as a massage oil for all that foreplay fun before you get busy.

Always remember: You don’t even HAVE to have sex

If you’re not feeling sexual on V-Day, that’s completely fine. Not everyone has sex on Valentine’s Day. In fact, sex on February 14 often suffers because we put so much pressure on ourselves to perform—literally. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

If you want to fool around a little bit, Netflix and chill, give each other oral sex, cook a nice meal, go to bed early, etc., that is completely OK. It’s your night and you should celebrate it the way you want to.

Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, educator, and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

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