Wedding planning is full of bliss, excitement, and a smidge of stress. And when stress rears its ugly and panicked head, we can often lose ours in a fight with our significant other. So here are the top wedding fights you might have and expert advice on how to avoid them.
The cost of your big day.
"The expectation of what you want and what you can actually afford becomes a huge stressor for couples as they start getting down to brass tacks," explains Jennae Saltzman, owner of Blush & Whim wedding planning. Plus, she says, conservative grooms get grumpy when they feel their brides are too frivolous with the purse strings, while brides often accuse their grooms of miser-like mentalities. "Make a budget early on," Saltzman says, "and stick to it to avoid these kind of disagreements."
When you can't stand your soon-to-be husband's college friend who makes inappropriate fart jokes, you're bound to get a little cranky when you see your fiancé has added his name to the guest list. "Make the expectations for this clear with all parties — parents included — when sitting down to make the list," advises Saltzman. "Keep things consistent: Whether that means no plus-ones or kids, the rules should apply to everyone."
An overbearing mother-in-law.
Whether a groom sides with his mother on important decisions or the bride breaks out on her own without considering her future family's feelings, "there always seems to be tension between the bride and her future mother-in-law," admits Saltzman. "Because of this, it's important that the couple establishes that they are on the same team when going into the planning process."
A disproportionate workload.
"A lot of fights start when the bride feels like she is having to push her groom to get things done, such as picking out his suit, getting gifts for his groomsmen, and more," Saltzman says. Rather than nag, Saltzman suggests brides make clear from the get-go what they expect their grooms to do. "Be crystal clear about what he should — and maybe shouldn't! — be doing when it comes to the wedding."
Not considering the groom's opinion.
It's no longer just a bride's big day. "As weddings evolve, we are seeing more events that are infused with food, decor, and entertainment that reflect the couple and their interests," Saltzman says. "It's important to throw out the 'whatever the bride wants' saying here and make sure the groom is getting that signature beer, cigar bar, or manly appetizer, he wants too."