Raise your glasses to the moms taking the mic at wedding receptions to give their very own mother of the bride speech (why should fathers have all the fun?). While we know moms are basically superhuman creatures with an endless array of skills and abilities, public speaking can be a feat to shake even the heroes among us—not to mention the added flood of mixed emotions that will be present throughout the day.
Delivering a heartfelt speech to a crowd of family members and newly minted in-laws will surely have you feeling a bit nervous, and we can't dismiss the act of finding the right words to convey everything you're feeling in the first place. But rest assured, mamas, we've got a guide to help you ease your minds and fortify your wits. We tapped three experts—wedding planners Amy Abbott and Paulette Alkire and Kylie Carlson, CEO of Wedding Academy Global—to walk you through the process of giving a pro-level mother of the bride speech. (We suggest you share your new expertise with any tongue-tied dads out there.)
Meet the Expert
- Amy Abbott is a wedding planner and the owner of Amy Abbott Events, a Los Cabos–based wedding and event planning company that designs celebrations throughout Mexico.
- Kylie Carlson is the CEO of Wedding Academy Global, an educational service that offers certification training for the wedding industry.
- Paulette Alkire is the lead wedding planner at Chalet View Lodge, a full-service wedding venue, boutique resort, and spa in Graeagle, California.
Below, find expert tips that will help you write—and deliver—the perfect toast on your daughter's big day.
Mother of the Bride Speech Template
Just as all moms are unique, and no two mother-daughter relationships are alike, your mother of the bride speech will be entirely personal to you and the bond you share. However, there are a few components that should be present in your toast. Here's a general outline to help you get started.
1. Acknowledge your guests. Every great speech should start with a few words of gratitude for the people who have gathered to partake in the celebration with you. You can mix this into a full greeting to welcome guests if you are the first speech on the schedule of events.
2. Welcome your new son- or daughter-in-law. No mother of the bride speech would be complete without a warm welcome to their daughter's new partner. Abbott explains that a good way to honor your new son-in-law or daughter-in-law is to make it clear that you feel you're gaining a new family member and that they are welcome. You should also nod to how they have changed or complemented your daughter for the better.
3. Choose happy memories to share. As you choose memories, focus on positive, happy moments. Telling a story that highlights how your daughter overcame something unpleasant or embarrassing shouldn't be shared on their wedding day.
Never mention your daughter's previous relationships or marriages, and don't talk about unfulfilled dreams. Only bring up the best memories of your daughter's life.
4. Highlight one or two big accomplishments. Theoretically, the guests should already know what the bride does for a living. Reciting every success they've ever had, in detail, is completely unnecessary. You should, instead, express how proud you are of their accomplishments and highlight one or two.
Mother of the Bride Speech Tips
Here are our experts' best tips for writing and delivering your mother of the bride speech.
1. Write your thoughts down on paper. This momentous occasion is probably not the best time to wing it. Whether you use bullet points or an outline, make sure you pen everything you want to tell your daughter in your speech to avoid leaving out anything special. “Start the process informally by simply writing down any and all things you want to make sure to include, from fond memories to advice on love for the newlyweds. As you lay it out on paper, you’ll see that an organic flow may come together quickly,” says Carlson.
2. Remember to pause and breathe. If your nerves are starting to get to you, you might start speeding through your speech; to combat this, take a deep breath and remember that it’s alright to take a pause. “Many people forget just how powerful a pause can be. If your nerves are getting to you, take a moment to gather yourself before continuing. Most guests will take this silence as you giving them a moment to fully receive the last bit of sentiment you shared. Center yourself by making eye contact with the bride, breathe, and continue,” says Alkire.
3. Don’t feel pressured to be funny. Sure, humor is great—but if you're not a naturally funny person, don't push your limits on your daughter's most important day. Just be your sincere and honest self. The rest will follow, and your daughter will love it.
4. Practice beforehand. Write your mother of the bride speech well in advance of the wedding so you’ll have plenty of time to practice it. “Try giving the speech out loud on your own, run it by a few trusted friends or family members, and then set it aside for a bit. This gives you time to return to the speech in a week or two with a fresh perspective," says Carlson.
Increase the amount of time you practice your speech in the month before the wedding, advises Carlson. No matter what the speech, the calmest of presenters are always the most practiced.
5. Avoid inside jokes. You might have some amazing inside jokes that will make your daughter laugh, but no one else will find them funny. "Avoid inside jokes to keep the speech inclusive of everyone listening," says Alkire.
6. Keep it short and sweet. You're talking about your daughter, and we know you could probably go on about how amazing they are for hours, but a good rule of thumb is to limit your speech to three to five minutes.
7. Don't worry about crying. This is one occasion that indisputably warrants tears—if you're afraid of getting choked up during your delivery, just remember no one will judge you for it. In fact, most people will think it's incredibly sweet and you just might make them need a tissue, too.
Now that you have a slew of tips for writing your mother of the bride speech, here are some questions to ask yourself to get the brainstorming process started.
- Which of your daughter's qualities do you really want to highlight?
- What's one of the best memories you have of raising your daughter?
- When did you first know that their partner was "the one"?
- What advice do you wish you'd heard from your mom on your wedding day?
- What about their new marriage makes you the happiest?
Mother of the Bride Speech Examples to Make Your Own
Does the mother of the bride give a speech? For these women, the answer was a resounding “Yes!” Get inspired with these actual toasts from loving moms.
Today is your wedding day. It's something a mother wishes and waits for from the time her daughter is born until she walks down the aisle.
"When Jewel was young she surrounded herself with lots of friends, some of whom are here today. They know our basement was always full with high school friends, just as your wedding is full of yours and Jason's friends today.
Time doesn't stand still; it is fleeting and it is amazing how quickly it passes. Like time, Jewel has never stood still. It seems like she is always running after one adventure after another. When her sister Mindy ran a marathon, Jewel had to keep up, so she started running. Mindy was content to say she checked a marathon off her bucket list, but Jewel had to keep on running, competing in a triathlon, and then an Ironman. Even getting her engagement ring was a race, a scavenger hunt adventure but still a race. This one she and Jason won together. Partners all the way.
Jewel and Jason, now it is your turn to embark on your own journey as a couple, to experience life with a loving partner. As you find your own route through life, remember to cherish each other. We know that through all the twists and turns of the road, you will support and care for each other with true love.
As you celebrate this wedding day, know it is not the best but the first of many blessed events in your lives together. We're thrilled you two have found the one for you. We wish you both joy, laughter, and love—from our hearts to yours.”—Eileen Roth
Thank you all for coming. I’m a strong mom, I have a strong daughter, and after this, I know I will need a strong drink.
"I would like to welcome Steve, and his parents Helen and Larry, and all of his wonderful, huge family into our family. I will not begin to mention all his brothers and sisters lest I forget one.
Steve: You are an amazing young man that I have grown to know and love. I met you after I fell skiing and I had cracked my ribs. I was on morphine and I was very happy...so please note that I am not always that crazy. Steve, when you asked to take me to lunch at my office, I knew that something was up. And it was—you asked to marry my daughter and we both cried. You have such a kind heart.
Adrienne: You are a strong, smart, and beautiful woman. I’m going to take this opportunity to apologize for the many things that I did with and to you while you were growing up. I’m sorry for many of them but not really for others, as they may have helped make you who you are today.
- I am sorry for always giving you peanut butter for lunch every day...as we found out later that you were deathly allergic to peanuts.
- I am sorry for dragging you to all the boys’ hockey and baseball games; however, you and Alysse retaliated by dragging them to all your dance recitals.
- I am sorry for the overkill of health foods—especially quinoa. But on the bright side, you have become a fabulous cook. (And have now married a cook).
- I am sorry that I made you follow me down the black diamond ski hills...but you have become a great skier.
- I am sorry for taking you on all those crazy adventures—an impromptu helicopter ride; a million Walk of Life events; travel to England, Wales, California, Boston, Chicago, New Orleans...but hey, they were lots of fun.
- I am sorry I made you watch all-night episodes of Gilmore Girls.
- I am sorry for eating bags of BBQ chips...actually, that was just me.
- I am sorry for taking you to so many dance workshops and involving you in many choreographies...but wow, you have become an accomplished dancer, actress, and teacher.
So, as a tribute to your dancing, I offer a musical toast to you and Steve. And the music is to ‘New York, New York’...the place where Steve proposed to you.”—Barbara Kennedy
“I want to thank everyone for being here celebrating Kayleigh and Adam; the Hodgins family, our family, and friends who have become family—welcome. Kayleigh’s father, her Derd, and I are tickled pink to host this beautiful evening.
As most of you know, Kayleigh faced physical challenges as a newborn and toddler but with every year, grew stronger and even more delightful. As she got older, she excelled in basketball and show choir, and happily graduated from FIDM. She then embarked on what promises to be a fulfilling career.
Kayleigh—it always has and always will be an honor and absolute joy to be your mom. You light up any room just by being in it.
As a parent, you, of course, want your child to succeed in life—both personally and professionally. But one of the most satisfying rewards is seeing your child experience true love and happiness, which she has absolutely found with Adam. Thank you, Adam, for loving our girl, we’re thrilled you are part of our family.
Please join me in a toast to the bride and groom—congratulations! We all wish you the best for everything this new journey has to offer.” —Marla White
When does the mother of the bride give a speech?
While every wedding is different, the mother of the bride typically delivers their speech during the wedding reception following the father of the bride's speech. In some instances—whether the father is deceased or unable to attend—the mother of the bride will kick off the wedding toasts by going first.
How do you write a mother of the bride speech when you don't know the groom?