Moving is one of the most stressful endeavors anyone can ever partake in, so moving in with your soon-to-be husband gives all new meaning to the word. To help make the process as easy as possible, we tapped the advice of relationship expert, two-time author, and newlywed Demetria Lucas D'Oyley for guidance on five things you must get sorted out before you shack up.
Have the money talk as soon as possible.
If you haven't lived with your now fiancé before getting engaged, then there is a high chance that you've never discussed finances and expenses with one another. You don't want to ruin your engaged bliss so take a week or two to enjoy it. In that second week, Lucas suggests, "Put the romance on pause for a moment and have a gritty conversation about finances: income, debt, student loans, investments, savings, financial goals, and of course, your expenses!"
Divvy up the chores.
"Have the conversation about when the trash goes out and who washes the dishes and cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the living room," Lucas suggests. "Make a schedule of who does what on which days and put it in high traffic space where it's not likely to go overlooked. Also, rotate the schedule every month so that no one partner is stuck doing something they loathe and the chores aren't designated solely by gender."
Bathroom schedules are not juvenile — they really do work!
If you only have one bathroom and have a similar work schedule, then scheduling bathroom time for each of you is a must. According to Lucas, "There are few things more frustrating than waiting for someone to get out of the shower and being late for work, an event or anything else because your spouse was taking his (or her) leisurely time."
Two televisions aren't necessary, but they are optional.
Though this issue is virtually non-existent in 2015 thanks to online streaming and DVRs, but if this is in fact a problem for you and your spouse, then not to fret: there are ways to remedy the dilemma. "If you're both fans of multiple shows and have few of the same shows in common, it's worth the investment to have two TVs. If this conflict is only likely to occur once in awhile, save the money, compromise on who watches what and remember to program the DVR."
Don't start talking décor before you have a home.
"Where you're planning to live as a couple determines what it's going to look like, so take care of finding a place first," advises Lucas. "Once you've got a place to turn into a home, share your thoughts on what your vision is, and ask your partner what they want. Are you bringing furniture from your separate homes or are you chucking it all and starting fresh? Be forewarned: the what goes and what stays conversations can be intense. We all have attachments to our 'stuff.' But remember: Nothing you currently own is more important than building a life with your partner — and there is always a storage facility to store away the stuff you can't stand to say goodbye to."