Of course you want to cater to your bride's every whim and request. But a girl's gotta draw the line somewhere — somewhere between, "anything that goes beyond strict friendship and verges on the truly burdensome," advises Courtney Wolf, wedding planner at Invision Events. So while your inclination as a bridesmaid is to always say "yes" to your friend, "if you cannot physically or financially accommodate a request, it is completely okay to say 'no.'" And here are four times that just might happen.
1. When she asks you to travel.
People are so spread out these days and asking too much on your girls by way of travel can be a no," explains Wolf. "Fly to bachelorette party? Maybe. Fly in for dress shopping? Probably not."
2. When the request costs more money than you can spare.
"We all know that weddings are expensive and that's certainly true of being a bridesmaid," Wolf explains. "If you cannot financially accommodate a bride's request, be honest and upfront about it. It will not only lift the burden off your shoulders, but she'll respect you being candid. She can then make other plans or accommodations."
3. When it puts you in a weird position with other wedding-party members.
"Wedding parties are often intermingled and sometimes, there are relationships that have been broken off within the group," says Wolf. "Did you used to date or be engaged to one of the groomsmen? Then tread lightly with all wedding-related activities."
4. When she asks you to step into the middle of family drama.
"It's not fun, good or fair if a bride asks you to be the middleman with her mother, mother-in-law or even fiancé," Wolf says.
When you're deciding whether a request deserves a "yes" or a "no," it's important to remember that "every relationship is different," says Wolfe. "There are some things I would do for a sister but not necessarily every one of my friends. By the same token, if I were a bride, I wouldn't ask a friend some of the things that I would ask a sister. It goes both ways."