Wedding-dress appointments are full of landmines to avoid, but it's typically the responsibility of a bride's entourage to skirt them. Issues of wedding jitters, weight, and confidence are all wrapped up in this one major purchase, so when it comes to accompanying a friend to her appointment, honesty is not necessarily the best policy. Support, positivity, and delight should be key themes in any word that's uttered at the appointment. As for what not to say, here are nine comments that should pass your lips at a friend's bridal appointment.
1. "Are you 100 percent sure about this one?"
If your BFF is certain about her dress, she may take your question as a sign of your distaste for the design and second-guess her choice. And if she has an indecisive personality to begin with, you may have bought yourself an extra two hours of watching her hem and haw.
2. "But you never wear anything like this style in your daily life!"
A wedding gown is intended to be a step or two outside the norm unless your friend attends galas on a weekly basis. Weddings are a day to indulge in a bit of fantasy, so unless your friend is selecting a design which you're certain she'll detest on her big day, allow her some creative freedom.
3. "I know what you like, and that gown isn't it."
A bride knows her style better than you do. If she's fallen for a dress, attempting to come between the two is a recipe for disaster.
4. "It's not really working for me. If it were my wedding..."
The dress doesn't in fact need to be working for anyone but the bride — and hopefully her groom. The bride's happiness is paramount, so save the commentary for a future time when the item she's test-driving isn't quite so high-stakes.
5. "My, it's tight around the bust/waist/hip region, isn't it?"
Your friend is trying on the store's sample, which unsurprisingly isn't cut to her exact shape and measurements. Her actual bridal gown will undergo alterations to fit every curve perfectly, so pocket any potentially devastating weight commentary. Your friend's actual dress will fit like a glove on her big day.
6. "It's okay."
You're not fooling anyone with lukewarm adjectives like "okay" or "fine". If you have nothing positive to say, smile and nod in silent agreement with the rest of the bridal entourage.
7. "That gown been done before. Can't you find something more unique?"
Even if you've attended a wedding at which the bride was wearing an exact replica of your friend's dress, chances are your pal will sport it in an entirely new fashion.
8. "That dress is too expensive; you can't afford it."
Unless you've been specifically instructed to intervene when a gown is over budget, the finances of the appointment are off-limits for discussion.
9. "No. That's not 'The One.'"
Of all the many things you could say to ruin a bridal appointment, simply telling the bride "No" is the most brutal. Give drama a rest and let the bride have her moment, even if your own prerogative differs from hers. You'll thank your good sense later.