So, you're wondering if couples therapy would help your relationship. There are many articles that discuss how sometimes couples counseling helps, and sometimes it doesn't. There are several reasons therapy doesn't improve the situation — for example: Sometimes people don't want to work things out, or the therapist is not a good fit, or the relationship has been in trouble for far too long.
But more often than not, couples therapy can be extremely beneficial. Here are 7 important things therapy can teach you that will dramatically improve your relationship:
1. How to communicate in a way that brings you together
Have you ever realized your partner is talking but not understand the words? Do you nod your head or utter a noise that indicates you are listening, and then the other person says "So what did I say" and you have no idea? This is not listening.
Learning how to truly pay attention when your partner is talking seems so simple, yet it's a major issue pretty much every couple I've seen struggles with.
3. How to create and sustain intimacy
The problem with sex is that people do not generally have wild-rip-your-clothes-off-or-porn-style sex on a regular basis. And the media makes us believe that if that is not happening then we are missing out. Therapy can help you get real about what's preventing you from having good sex. It can help you figure out if it is an emotional or physical issue (and if it is physical, you'll be advised to see your doctor or a sex therapist for specific treatment).
Differing libidos are a very common complaint in the therapy room. Therapy can teach you how to manage this in a way that does not degrade or belittle either partner, and gives you back a sense of sexual equality.
5. How to negotiate parenting differences
I like to describe this as a dance. If one person is too pushy about a particular thing (whether it be cleaning the house, parenting rules, sex, or anything else) the other partner is going to pull back more and more. And can you blame them? No one likes to be told what to do.
By giving both people in the relationship permission to change the way they handle these situations, change can happen almost immediately. One pulls back, the other has the space to step up. Just like a dance.
7. Healing your relationship after an affair__