We know: Astrology — much like the Weather.com app — isn't the most reliable resource in life. But hey, if we can decide which makeup to use based on our sign, why not let the stars enter our boudoir? It's all good fun!
So we asked sex astrologist Kiki T., author of The Celestial Sexpot's Handbook, to give us the rundown of how you should position yourself for mind-blowing intercourse based on your birthday. Even if Mercury is in retrograde, you can still find your O.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You tend to be a leader in every aspect your life. You're quick, domineering, and aggressive, which means you like to take charge between the sheets. Sometimes you can be a little ego-driven and focus more on your pleasure than your partner's. Selfish? Eh, more like goal-oriented.
Best sex position: reverse cowgirl. Any position that allows you to control the thrusting and penetration suits you best. Might we suggest dripping a little hot wax on your partner (or yourself) to up the play.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
As a Taurus, you prefer sensual intercourse and performing go-to (but not basic) moves — not because they're "easy" but because you're used to them. You're very aware of your five senses and love to feel an intimate connection with your bed buddy.
Best sex position: missionary. It's a tried-and-true move with lots of skin contact and room for lip-to-lip contact and neck nuzzling. Since you're so in-tune with everything around you, setting the scene is crucial. Dim the lights, spark a neutral-scented candle, and blast some Marvin Gaye.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Let us guess: In bed you like to switch it up from position to position. Sound about right? You like having choices and multitasking during sex (using vibrators and masturbating during penetration). You aren't satisfied sticking to one pose the entire time. Foreplay drives you wild and the longer it goes on for, the stronger your orgasm tends to be.
Best sex position: standing up. You're in the perfect place to jump from the wall to a kitchen counter or the couch. To really get your hormones flowing, ask your partner to send NSFW photos during, well, work. The sexual pregame will make game time that much hotter.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Cancers aren't particularly great at showing emotions, but we know you're actually hiding your nurturing personality. You're a giver and enjoy taking care of someone's needs for sure. But when things start to heat up, your animalistic and primitive nature comes out.
Best sex position: sitting up cowgirl. Ask your partner to pull you in extra close — you thrive off the intimacy. You also like to read the emotions emitting from their facial expressions. Warning: You might unconsciously dig your nails into your partner's back from the hot intensity. What can you say, scratching turns you on.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leos are like Samantha Jones in Sex and the City. You're a natural-born performer and love showing off your skills — basically the sex "rockstars" as Kiki puts it. While you're not necessarily self-centered, you do like the idea of someone treating you like a queen. Basically, you prefer them to do the heavy lifting as you go along for the ride.
Best sex position: doggy style. This way your partner has a clear view of you — up their vision and yours by positioning yourself in front of a mirror.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Directness and efficiency rule Virgos. You go with your head and appreciate being told what to do. Sex positions that look like they require years of yoga practice aren't your forte, but you're open to trying something if your partner asks.
Best sex position: face-to-face standing. Ask your partner exactly what they want you to do and follow their lead. Bonus points if you do it in the shower.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libras value beauty — not so much in yourself or your partner but in your surroundings. The stars suggest you're keen to partnerships and tend to go for moves where both people are doing equal amounts of work. However, you're rarely the one to initiate sex.
Best sex position: scissoring or spider. In either scenario, you and your plus-one are engaged in similar movements. One person isn't more dominant or passive. While a well-furnished bedroom can heighten your sexuality, a fancy hotel suite with chocolate topped pillows and a breathtaking view drive you nuts.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You're secretive and may come off as a loner but deep down you're passionate with extreme emotions and aggression others won't suspect. You know what you want in bed and won't stop until you get it* (*it being your orgasm).
Best sex position: anything. You're satisfied with whatever position you're in...the kicker being that you need a little kink mixed in. Blindfolds, handcuffs, S&M—it's all fair game. It's so erotic, you're fine being the dominatrix or the dominated. A little pain makes for great pleasure.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
As the name suggests, you're "half human, half horse" (not biologically, of course) but you have a free spirit similar to wild animals, says Kiki. Just like Gemini, you're spontaneous and love varying up your playbook.
Best sex position: standing downward doggy style. Slightly differing from Gemini's key move, instead of standing up with your partner, your body bends down, head closer toward your feet. Nothing motivates a Sagittarius more than doing it somewhere outside. We're not talking about getting it on in plain sight — more so an outdoor setting (like the woods) that can be secluded.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You require a little more schmoozing than the other signs to feel comfortable with a partner. But once you feel at ease, you're open to anything and everything.
Best sex position: flat on your stomach. You generally prefer to be the passive one and like when your partner takes control as the "authority" in the bedroom. Leather toys — whip, handcuffs, clothes — excite you.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
We'll bet you're probably as quirky as Jess from New Girl. Sex isn't usually very personal for you — you're typically in it for the fun! You're technology-oriented so high-quality sex toys help you get the job done.
Best sex position: on your back. From here you can show off your deluxe Rabbit (or whatever gadget you have stashed in your goodie drawer) to your partner as they watch. Seeing them get worked up over your self-pleasure will get you ready for the real action.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You're the sign of compassion and are a "sponge for emotions." Pisces are pros at reading body language, so nothing gets past you. Out of the rest of the signs, you're probably the most romantic.
Best sex position: spooning. Intimate, personal, body contact — everything a Pisces could hope for. Well, that and a little role play. Before stepping into the utensil position, you love acting out your fantasies to get in the mood.