The battle of the the Bachelorettes started last night, and boy was it an evening to remember! For the first time in Bachelor franchise history, not one, but two eligible ladies (Chris Soules's cast-offs Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson) participated in the first night of "Hi, my name is..." and limo arrivals. In case that doesn't sound awkward enough, let us assure you: It was. There were so many bizarre and uncomfortable moments in the first part of the premiere (part two airs tonight), that we had to narrow it down to our very favorites.
1. One of the most uncomfortable things about this premise is that most suitors came in on #TeamBritt or #TeamKaitlyn, but they had to introduce themselves to both women after exiting the limo. For many, they approached their chosen bachelorette first, and laid on the charm. The first limo of men seemed to be entirely #TeamBritt, meaning Kaitlyn stood stiffly as they called her competition "Disney Princess," and other improbable nicknames.
2. Kaitlyn's time to shine soon came around, though, and her sarcastic sense of humor brought out the best in the gentlemen. Our favorite targeted pick-up line? JJ, who walked straight up to wise-cracking Canadian Kaitlyn, took a hockey puck out of his pocket, and said, "I want to puck you."
2. These days, a standard "Hi, how are you? I'm so excited to meet you!" pretty much guarantees you a flight back home on the first night and a speedy slide into oblivion. Of all of the stunt entrances we've seen, dentist Chris's decision to roll up to the mansion in a cupcake car (seriously) is by far the oddest.
3. On the last season of The Bachelor, Britt drew the other ladies' ire for circumventing the rules, either by stealing Chris away during group dates or sneaking off to his room. Last night, Kaitlyn took a page out of Britt's book and ran into the house mid-limo arrivals to reassure the men and win a few more over. Ballsy move, Kaitlyn!
4. It wouldn't be the first episode without one contestant getting rip-roaringly drunk, and last Ryan M. filled the role of resident lush last night. After groping Kaitlyn's butt, falling into the pool, and slurring words like it was his job, host Chris Harrison sent him packing. "You're clearly not here for either one of these girls or for sincere reasons," he said. At least Ryan probably won't remember the ride home.
5. Is it just us, or do people's job descriptions get more and more ridiculous every season? We've had manscapers, jumbotron operaters, dog lovers, and free spirits all vie for love, and this season added some new resume lines for the books. Our favorites? Amateur sex coach, law student/exotic dancer, and healer. The only thing more uncomfortable? Hearing sex coach Shawn E. describe his job to Britt.