Tantra, the breath-heavy, meditative practice from India, is the perfect (and cost-free) way to increase your orgasmic potential and feel closer to your partner this year. Yes, spanking, chocolate sauce, and handcuffs are a good time, but on a holiday centered around romance, tantric sex is an excellent way to go.
Let’s talk about what tantra actually is.
You can’t exactly incorporate tantra into your Valentine’s Day sexcapades if you don’t know what it is. So, let’s start with with a quick recap.
Tantra, while often associated with sex (Hey, lotus position), isn’t really about sex; It's about energy, spirituality, breathing, and centeredness. It's a life-based, spiritual practice that focuses on energies within the body—these energies are called chakras. Through meditation, breath-work, and belief in the power of the universe, tantra can help you feel truly in your body.
The main chakras are: The Root Chakra (base of the spine), The Sacral Chakra (pelvis), Solar Plexus (belly), Heart, Throat, The Third Eye (forehead/intuition), and Crown (head).
When it comes to sexual energies, we’re referring to the Solar Plexus and Root chakras. Emphasis is placed on the Root chakra because this is where the Kundalini (or shakti), the lifeblood of sexuality, is located.
Tell me more.
The all-powerful Kundalini is thought to flow from the base of the spine, which also happens to be where your vulva, vagina, clitoris, and all other female sexual-related organs, are based. When you tap into that energy, you release your inner sex goddess.
Unlike many forms of religion, and branches of society in general, tantra actually reveres female sexuality as sacred. It recognizes women as sexually autonomous creatures capable of, and with the right to, sexual pleasure; Sexuality isn’t a shameful, demonized thing, but rather a beautiful part of the human experience as a whole.
Tantra can up your libido.
If you’re experiencing low-libido or lack of orgasm, lots of tantra experts will say it’s likely because your Kundalini is blocked. (We’re not tantric teachers or doctors so how true that is is up for debate—many factors can contribute to low desire.)
But what we can say is tapping into your Kundalini can build intimacy and connectedness for couples. When you feel good about yourself and are feeling open to pleasure, your sex life will improve. And tantra can be used as an aide to open and awaken your sexuality. We definitely have sexy energies within us and this Valentine’s Day, it’s time to get into yours.
It’s all about your breath.
It's a sex advice cliché but it's true: Breathing into your body is super important in sex, and tantra is all about that breath. Take a few minutes and sit face-to-face with your partner. Hold eye-contact for one minute. Try to align your breathing. By doing this, you have opportunity to really connect with each other and feel the emotions of the other person. It might feel kind of weird at first, but it’s worth it—lean into the practice.
Try tantric sex positions.
Tantric sex is slow, relaxed, and rhythmic. It's not about rushing to orgasm—in fact, orgasm isn’t the goal at all. If you do reach climax, that’s great, but the point of practicing tantra is to feel ongoing, ever-flowing pleasure and energy.
Since you’re already sitting face-to-face after the breathing exercise, give "the lotus" a try. Have your partner sit on the bed or couch and straddle him or her, face-to-face. Rock back and forth or up and down (careful of thigh-burn!). This position is traditionally called Yab Yum. It allows for deep kissing and gets you right against your partner’s pubic bone for handsfree clitoral stimulation (though we totally encourage the use of a hand or toy for more clitoral action).
Need more ideas on positions? Check out our tantric sex positions guide. Happy Valentine’s Day!