You've likely taken the time to get to know your fiancé's parents. But what about his grandmother? While she may be easy to overlook amid a whirlwind of wedding planning, experts agree it's important that you get to know her as well as you do your future in-laws.
"Your significant other's grandmother provided affection and caring, which helped the person you love grow," says Ruth Nemzoff, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of Don't Roll Your Eyes: Making In-Laws Into Family. "She may have even provided the financial security or the values that allowed your intended's family to thrive — and she can give that to you, and one can never have too many cheerleaders!"
We've convinced you to set a first encounter, but now what should you do? "Relax," says Lesli Doares, marriage consultant and author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage. "This may be the first time you meet her, but it won't be your last. Putting too much pressure on yourself will keep you from being yourself. Be open and curious about her and her relationship with your partner. Bring a small gift if that would be appropriate, and offer to help with tasks." Then, stick to these eight talking points, supplied by our experts.
1. What was my partner like as a child?
2. What was your favorite thing to do with my partner when they were young?
3. How did you meet my fiancé's grandfather?
4. What have you learned about marriage over the years?
5. What's the most important thing I need to know about being a part of this family?
6. Tell me about your engagement and wedding?
7. What do you hope for us?
Finally, remember, "Like any new relationship, it will take time to build," Doares says. "Showing interest in her is always a good place to start."