People have absolutely no boundaries about what sort of thing they'll ask you about your wedding plans after they find out you're engaged. It's like all basic manners go out the window — it's like strangers who walk up to pregnant women and want to touch their bellies. It's just inappropriate and terribly uncomfortable.
There are a few questions that should never be asked but no doubt will be and if you're prepared with canned answers, you'll handle the entire situation better. Remember, most of these people aren't maliciously trying to make you squirm — they just don't know any better.
1. "Are you pregnant?"
The polite way to handle it is to laugh and say, "No, we're not. But we'll be sure to put it on the 'to do' list after we've finished up our thank-you notes." If you are pregnant, smile widely and thank them so much for their well wishes and move on to talk to somebody else, unless you want to discuss your shotgun wedding plans.
2. "Am I invited to the wedding?
Some folks think they're entitled to your guest list and will ask who is invited to your wedding and how many guests you're having total. Unless they have a good reason to need to know this information, your response should be, "We're still working on that. Thanks for asking." If it's somebody you're definitely inviting, like a nosy aunt, you can add. "Don't worry — you're on the top of the guest list," to make it all sound friendlier.
3. "Are you inviting [insert name of your ex-boyfriend here]?"
If you have a firm opinion on it you can laugh and say something like "Are you kidding?" and keep on going. If it's more complicated than that, tell them they'll find out at the wedding and leave it hanging. You don't owe them a response.
4. "How much are your parents giving you for the wedding?"
This is nobody's business except yours and your parents. Sometimes one set of parents is more financially prepared to help than the other. Sometimes the bride and groom are picking up the whole tab. "Everyone is helping so much with the wedding, we really appreciate it," is an excellent, non-committal answer that's nicer than, "Mind your own business."
5. "So, how much did all of this cost?"
Yes, some people will ask you what your wedding cost — and some of them may even ask your wedding planner at the event! Don't even dignify the question with an answer. Just smile and say, "It was worth every penny."
Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007.