We all know you can increase your sex drive by pampering yourself pre-sex and slipping on lingerie. But we're not here to talk about what you already know — we're here to dish on seven shocking ways to get in the mood you've likely never thought to do.
Get started without your guy.
"Touching or lightly caressing your own body will increase your awareness of your sensuality and help your brain pump up the chemistry before contact," says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., sexologist and author of The Truth About Sex: A Sex Primer For The 21st Century. Plus, this pre-sex primer will make your time together even more pleasurable.
Read a romance novel.
While many women can't get into pornography, most of us would willingly trade places with the main character in our favorite sexy summer read. "If you already know there is a passage from a book that really turns you on, don't hesitate to read it again — or to your partner if you feel comfortable with that — before sex," says Brame.
Sneak in a 10-minute workout.
And tailor your tone-up to your lower body. "Heat up your body with blood flow, sending it specifically to your hips and genital area," says Sadie Allison, Ph.D., sex expert and founder of Tickle Kitty. Dance to your favorite upbeat music, and "include periodic hip gyrations. Then incorporate a few sets of sit-ups while doing kegels — squeezing and releasing your pelvic muscles — simultaneously."
Google images of how you want to feel.
Again, we're not talking pornography. But a simple search of "sexy females" will turn up hundreds of "women in sensual and provocative poses," says Allison. Then mimic your favorite poses in the mirror, especially those that accentuate your own assets. "You'll look and feel sexy, and gain an extra boost of confidence in your sexual prowess. Think of it as flirting with yourself in your own photo shoot. This is sure to get your mind and body headed to that heightened mood and ready for sex."
Ask him to do something for you — and it doesn't even have to be sexual!
"Whether it's asking him to vacuum or do a strip-tease, women are on record as being a lot more excited about sex when they feel their partner is trying hard to please them," Brame says. Choreplay, here we come!
Remember the good ol' days.
When you want to get the feel-goods flowing, break out "a photo album and reminisce about good times from when you and your fiancé first met," says Allison. "Take yourself back to those giddy feelings of flirty love and lust, and let that be the inspiration for your open mind to set your libido free in that fresh, exciting way tonight."
Write a sexual bucket list.
"What positions or acts do you want to try? What wild fantasies do you wish you could explore with your partner, at least once? Is there a toy you saw online that gives you a secret thrill?" prompts Brame. "A married sex life is the perfect place to experiment, explore, and enjoy your natural potential for pleasure to the fullest."