Who knew you could have so many opinions about napkin fabrics or cake-cutting music? Planning a wedding seems to bring out the preferences, ideas, likes, and dislikes you didn’t realize you had, and getting all those thoughts and feelings across to your partner, your family, and your vendors can seem like a huge challenge. We asked our experts to share five tips that will help you make your voice heard as you get deeper into the process.
Put it in Writing
If there are things you really do (or don’t) want at your wedding, make sure to have those items outlined in writing as soon as you start planning. Share the list with your partner, your parents, and your vendors ASAP so there’s no confusion or chance of misunderstanding.
Find an Ally
Your best defense is a great offense, so team up with someone else in the planning process who will help you get your voice heard. This might be your partner, or you may have your mom or your maid of honor by your side to help you get your point across. You’ll feel better knowing you have support, and having two people speaking up instead of just one will be more impactful.
Keep Your Cool
Running into some roadblocks or pushback? Stay calm. If you can speak up without turning up the volume, you’ll have a much better chance of getting what you want—whether that means compromising or making a major change. Be clear and direct, but don’t throw a fit, and the negotiation process will be much more smooth.
Don’t get stuck trying to make a change or share your thoughts late in the game. Keep an eye on your inbox and make sure you’re responding to any email threads quickly. If your opinion is one of the first ones shared, it will be what your vendors compare any other ideas to. If you wait too long to say something, someone will have to make a plan to keep the process moving forward, with or without you.
Pick Your Battles
Of course you want to have the wedding of our dreams, but that doesn’t mean everything will go exactly your way. Instead, prioritize the details that really matter to you, and be prepared to give in on other things. That might mean letting your partner choose the cake flavors because you’re more passionate about which entrées you offer, or giving your mom the final say on the table assignments while you and your new spouse cozy up at a sweetheart table. If you’re willing to work with your team to turn your wedding into something everyone will love, they’ll be excited to do the same for you!