We here at BRIDES don't like to say there's a wrong way to share and celebrate love, but if we're being honest (and we're always being honest), there are certain moves a couple can make on social media that are preeeeeeetty darn annoying to most friends, followers, connections, or whatever else you call the people who keep online tabs on you and your relationship. And given that there are so many social media platforms, and the fact that we post and engage with others a little differently on each one, your obnoxious offenses could be as abundant and varied as the day feed is long.
But maybe you're totally unaware of all the eye-rolling you've induced. You're in love and happy and have an unlimited data plan, after all. Thus, in an educative effort we've boiled down what we think are the most signature couple faux pas for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Venmo, respectively.
Scroll through and see if you and your partner are perpetrators, because this may be the actual "notification" you need right now. Here are the 5 worst social media mistakes couples can make.
1. The Facebook Joint Account
We get it; you guys are close. But the combining of two people's identities feels like the makings of a dystopian YA novel that will one day be adapted for Hulu. Stop pretending you share all the same music and movie interests. Plus, consider how creepy otherwise innocuous comments quickly become when appearing to come from both of you. Tammy Walker can write under a precious photo of her best friend's toddler in a bathtub, "AWWWWW. LEWK at that little nugget! I could just eat her up!!!" BryceNTammy Walker? Not so much...
2. The Instagram Comment Conversation
Let us know if this scenario sounds familiar: A "hot AF" photo of one of you goes live, and a few seconds later the other person comments to let the poster know, "This is 🔥🔥🔥!!!" The compliment is denied by the first user, so now more flattery is fired back, then "love you!"s all around, followed by a discussion of dinner plans and some rapid-fire restaurant suggestions and rejections until a 37-message thread exists. And wait, what's this? IG Stories just confirmed that both parties are together in real-time! A simple verbal exchange could've saved so much bandwidth and burning out of your friends' collective patience.
3. The Twitter Screenshot Subtweet
You didn't even tag your lover in the tweet, but everyone knows the identity of the second party in that iMessage exchange you just threw on your feed. We agree that "It's nice to be well taken care of," but Twitter is for news and networking and funny asides that come into your head — not humble-bragging that someone special picked up Popeyes for dinner.
4. The Snapchat Filtered Bed Photo
If y'all are in a satisfying, mutually-beneficial sexual relationship, GREAT. You don't need to remind folks every single day with half-naked snaps of you two under the covers—especially if you've got one of those ridiculous animal filters obscuring your faces. First we're thinking about you guys having intercourse, then all of a sudden there's this intrusive thought concerning animals getting frisky, and now things are weird and uncomfortable. Put a shirt on and get rid of the cat ears before snapping couple selfies, please.
5. The Venmo Description Overshare
Reading through creative and emoji-filled synopses of what people are paying each other for is an entertaining pastime when you're bored. But similar to the Snapchat mentioned above, nothing halts that fun like an overly familiar transaction explanation. (One BRIDES staffer will never forget that one time she came across: "for getting my underwear for me from across the room.") If you're paying each other for lube or sex toys or anything else you wouldn't want your besties knowing about, use a code! That's more intimate anyways. Just make sure it's somewhat hard to crack. (No 🍆s or 🍑s allowed.)
Bonus Bugger: Social Crossovers
If your accounts are linked, that's one thing. But taking the time to screenshot and post a Snapchat filter shot we've already seen to your Insta feed...and then maybe Facebook and Twitter too? You are not Ariana Grande...