Right after the bride spreads the word that's she is officially engaged, and she posts the picture of her beautiful diamond engagement ring, her close friends and family members will start to twiddle their thumbs and think to themselves: will I be asked to be the maid of honor?
Being the maid of honor is a true honor. It's practically the role of a lifetime, and one that's unforgettable. You'll be the bride's go-to gal pal throughout the entire wedding adventure and stand right behind her as she says "I do." You'll also be there to help her with decisions along the way and give your opinion on what style dresses the bridal party should wear.
But what should you do if you thought you were going to be the bride's maid of honor, but then she picks someone else?
First, you should let yourself be upset. Be angry even. But do so in private. Try not to spread this confusion and emotion you have throughout the bridal party. If it will help you move on, chat with the bride and let her know you're disappointed she didn't pick you as the maid of honor, but you can't wait to support her as a bridesmaid. Don't make her feel bad about not picking you and instead, let her know that you'll be there for her.
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Next, promise yourself you won't take these hard feelings out on the maid of honor, even if you don't know why the bride picked her. Tell the MOH that you'd be happy to help her with whatever she needs. Choosing this kind of attitude over a stubborn and explosive one will be the only way you make it through the wedding without resenting the bride and the event altogether.
Even if this is hard to do, and instead you want to ignore the MOH and not listen to a word she says, try and rise above this feeling. Don't take it personally that the bride didn't make you the MOH. If she means a lot to you, as a good friend, you'll find a way to put this past you and instead, be there for her and the bridal party in a mature and adult way.
Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.