8 Shocking Things People Said in Their Vows

Cringe

Updated 07/27/18

Courtesy of BHLDN

One of the most memorable parts of any wedding is when the couple stands front and center to exchange vows. It’s customary to share a beautiful list of the things you want to promise your partner before saying "I do" and heading into the reception.

But not all vows are created equal, especially when a couple decides to write their own. Here’s a list of eight very shocking things that people said in their vows (that they regret till this day).

Mentions of an Ex

“I thought it would be funny to write my vows as if I was promising not to do some of the things I did in past relationships. I talked about an ex-girlfriend and all the things I did wrong in that relationship and how I vow to never do those things again. I guess I went into a bit too much detail. My wife didn’t appreciate it and still, six years later, is pissed off that I did that. I was just trying to be funny.” – Ben H., 38

The Topic of Sex

“I rambled off a list of things I vowed I’d do more of, like the dishes, laundry, filling up the gas tank on our cars with gas, and oh yeah, I mentioned oral sex, because I thought people would laugh. Well, they didn’t. They were mortified and so was my bride. She forgave me, after five shots of vodka at the open bar after.” – Henry P., 35

Instructions for Death

“Vows are supposed to be jolly and happy. Mine took a dark turn. I had a sentence in there about how if I died first, I wanted my husband to move on fast. I even told him I’d leave a few dollars behind for him to join a dating site. His eyes look like they were going to pop out of his eye socket. He wasn’t pleased.” – Marissa H., 35

The Potential of Divorce

“I guess I knew that it would be weird to talk about divorce in our vows but I also just wanted to bring up the fact that it could eventually happen. It was also my second marriage. So I said something like, I vow to love you up until you hire a high-powered divorce attorney to try to take everything I have. Some people at the ceremony actually laughed.” – Chris W., 45

An Unresolved Argument

“Days before the wedding, my wife and I were fighting about something so stupid and trivial. But it was a lingering fight between us. So instead of reading vows, I grabbed the microphone and said to her, in front of everyone, I’ll only marry you if we resolve our stupid little fight right here and now. She nervously laughed, squeezed my hand, and I somehow survived that bad decision with her by my side.” – Dover K., 34

Secret Financial Debt

“I said I promise to you love you through all the cliché things, if you promise to love my messy hair, my vintage style, and oh yeah, my credit card debt. He didn’t know I had any of that so it was a sneak attack. I don’t recommend doing that kind of strategy to anyone else who is wondering how to admit they have debt to their partner.” – Claire W., 28

The Ending of a Job

“I causally mentioned I lost my job in my vows. I remember looking at my wife’s face and seeing that she was mostly confused and thinking I was joking. She let it go but during our first dance she asked if I had gotten fired and I said yes and I remember she elbowed me in the stomach for bringing it up the way I did.” – Tom W., 35

That Having Cold Feet is Real

“I started my vows off saying I promised to always be honest with her and that before I came to the ceremony, I did have some cold feet and thought about becoming a runaway groom. After the ceremony, she asked me to never be honest like that in public ever again.” – Roy F., 29

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