Getting ready for your wedding night? It's finally here. YAS!
It is a big night on which we place a ton of pressure. While it's understandable why this is so, there really is no need to get so worked up with anxiety and nerves. This is your partner. He or she is someone you've been with for a long time. They love you. Just because you wore a wedding dress and are legally hitched doesn't mean this is the end-all-be-all-night of erotic bliss.
Actually, wedding night sex can be a let down when you think of it this way.
Take a deep breath. Here are a few sexy tips to prepare for your wedding night. This is an exciting evening and we've made it easy. Get it on.
1. Expand Your Knowledge Base (And Toy Collection)
Knowledge is power (in bed). You can never know too much when it comes to anything, especially sex. We aren't given any real information in school (and in most cases, from anywhere) about what makes sex good. Don't be afraid to go out and expand what you know. Take time to masturbate and feel comfortable in your body. Even if you've had tons and tons of sex over the years, it's difficult to escape the pressure trap. If you feel in-tuned with yourself, you'll be rearing to go.
Read articles on different pleasure products you might want to try. Choose something that really gets you going. Bringing a new toy into the bedroom is exciting and sexy. With so much pressure placed on wedding night sex, it can be fun to introduce something playful and orgasm-inducing.
2. Take It Easy With the Champagne
Now, it's your wedding and there will be bubbles. It is to be expected. It's basically a huge party just to celebrate you. The problem? Too much alcohol is going to inhibit your ability to have great sex. Orgasm is inhibited when you're intoxicated, leaving you dry and sad. Drunk sex is always rather lackluster, isn't it?
If sex is high on the list of priorities, stick to two or three glasses over the course of the evening. Don't get sloppy and then expect to be a sex goddess. It's not going to happen, girl.
If sex is lower on your list than partying the night away, go for it. You can always pass out and have sex in the morning. Welcome to married life. You can have sex everyday for the rest of your lives. Bless.
3. Choose Your Look and Keep It Simple
The basic rule of lingerie is to keep it classic. Stay simple if you're in doubt of what to buy. Again, enough with the pressure. Who has time for that?
You do not need to go wild with the lingerie if that isn't your style. If it is, get it. If you want to rock a full lacy body suit or babydoll nightie, you do your thing.
Otherwise, opt for something straightforward and easy to unbutton. Choose a lace bra and panty set you can wear under your dress. This way you don't need to make a show of the "big reveal." You can just slip out of your dress and go for it.
Trust us, after a long day of wedding shenanigans your partner is not going to care what you're wearing—only that you're naked.
4. Manage Expectations
Don't get in your head about your wedding night. Stop sitting on the train picturing exactly how it will go down. Don't make it this scenic, perfect experience. This is sex. Sex is never perfect. It isn't a movie. It's hot AF, but it isn't a scene from Fifty Shades.
Having realistic expectations will serve you greatly. If you put your "wedding night sex" up on a pedestal, you will be disappointed. How can anything match up to your imagination? Spoiler: It can't.
Remind yourself that even though your dream day has finally arrived, this is still real life. Enjoy yourself and all the weird silliness that comes along with sex. There is fumbling and awkwardness. That's the realness. You're in love. Have a good time.
5. Be Present in the Moment
We suggest trying meditation in the weeks leading up to your wedding. It's a stressful time. Learning how to quiet your mind is essential. Breathe into your body so you can elevate your senses (aka: Have a big, 'ol orgasm).
Focus on everything that is happening to you. If you find your mind wandering, refocus. Pay special attention to that thing your partner is doing with your vibrator or with their hips. Pick out the details of this moment that turn you on. Getting distracted and disengaged does not an orgasm make. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Meet the Expert
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago.