Now, let's not get too doomsday here: There's no be-all, end-all guide that can definitively say what all human beings enjoy between the sheets. After all, don't yuck someone else's yum.
But there is a lot more to bedroom decorum than sex positions and sexy lingerie (though there are definitely some better choices than others as far as sex moves are concerned).
There is a spoken (and unspoken) dance that goes on between partners during sex. Skip out on some of these moves, and you could be headed for an unhappy sexual encounter.
While the media and women's magazines will spout off the importance of Kama Sutra-style sex to keep marriage "spicy," there is so much more to the subtlety of bedroom etiquette. It's OK. You might not even know you're making these seemingly mindless errors. Without a guide, how could you know?
How to know for sure about the specifics? Read our tips, then sit down with your partner ask them if there are things that are working (or not working) for you both. Here are 7 moves that might not be working for your partner (and how to fix them).
1. Sticking to one kissing style.
Some people are into deep, passionate kissing, others enjoy having their partner's shove their tongues down their throats, and other people prefer light, sweet pecks. Whatever your or your partner's style, you should take some time to figure it out.
A bad kisser is a big turn off in erotic encounters. It's not to say you're a bad kisser, but if you're roughly kissing someone who prefers tenderness, it can be perceived this way.
If your partner is slobbering all over your face and it's not something that turns you on, you are going to inevitably be less inclined to feeling frisky. Check in your partner and be willing to adapt your kissing style to make both of you feel sexy and comfortable.
2. Checking in with your partner.
Speaking of checking in: It's important that you check in with your partner regularly during sex, especially if you're trying something new for the first or second time. Everyone feeling safe, confident, and happy during a new sexual experience (such as BDSM, spanking, and hair pulling) is crucial for enjoyment. If you're not taking your partner's comfort into consideration, you could be pissing them off without realizing it.
That being said, you don't need to ask your partner if everything is alright every second—it kinda kills the mood (if that's something you're worried about). But, checking in a few times is great. Just say in a sexy voice, "Does this feel good?" or "Are you liking this," or "Is this too much?" It shows that you care and are thinking about your partner's feelings.
3. The 69 position
When it comes to 69, the jury is split: People are either completely game or not into it at all. Let's face it, it's hard to have an orgasm while you're focusing on pleasuring your partner orally at the same time. Again, communication is key here.
Before you simply go for the 69 every time you get naked, as your partner if this a position they're interested in. If they are not, perhaps you can compromise and only do it on special occasions, or in a modified position. Maybe it is a position they loathe so deeply you can do without it.
When it comes to sex positions in general, you need to talk about the things that turn you on, and the things that do not.
4. Pandering to the wrong erogenous zones.
The body has nearly endless possibilities for pleasure. Some people love nipple play, others adore being spanked, some like having their inner thighs bitten or licked. If you're going full force on erogenous zones that don't do it for your partner, they aren't going to be turned on.
Take time to play and experiment. Instead of going straight into sex, indulge in foreplay. Test different things that both of you might find erotic. Figure out what works. You may open a door to a new sexy area of your body you never knew before. And, of course, ask which areas your partner likes touched and teased to start with.
Are you noticing a pattern here? Nearly every tip revolves around communication and open discussion. That's the best tip of all!
See More: The Best Sex Advice For Newlywed Couples
5. Unprompted dirty talk.
One of the most nerve-wracking things during sex is working up the nerve to talk dirty. Though it can be super hot, one of the things that causes dirty talk to go awry is forgetting to prepare your partner beforehand or not starting slowly.
Some people are very turned on by filthy, dirty, raunchy dirty talk; others find it highly unappealing. Start by asking your partner if they enjoy talking dirty and let them know your feelings on the subject. Once you know how your partner feels, you can move into practice. Start with simple, sexy things and then move into the more intense, explicit stuff down the line.
6. Skipping foreplay.
If you're letting your mind run away with you and are jumping right into sex, you could wind up with some tearing and discomfort during penetrative sex.
Lubrication is the key to pleasure for many women. Focus on the clitoris. Take the time to warm your partner up, and let your partner know what you need to be ready for sex. Don't push foreplay aside. It is the key to satisfying sexual experiences. If done with care instead of rushed annoyance, it can be the hottest part of sex.
7. Putting too much pressure on orgasm.
We often put our focus on the destination, rather than the journey. Good sex doesn't always end in orgasm. In fact, it doesn't a good portion of the time. Don't get worked up over whether your partner is coming or not. That kind of pressure with only hinder their ability to reach climax.
Instead, focus on making the entire experience sensual and pleasurable. Enjoy each other. Trust us, even if it doesn't end in an orgasm, both of you will feel great. Stop laying on the guilt, and start enjoying the beauty of this playtime fun.